HEROINE

JAKONZ.

2006-09-07T08:56:00.000+08:00

I've never been so happy all my life.
If mummy was here,
to see my smiles,
I guess, she will be happy as well.

Yes, i think she knows I'm happy.
And she knows how sad I am too.

I mean about things at home uh.
How i can barely cope with my family now.

I mean, i was really very close to my father.
Now, well, i just think i'd rather isolate myself
than even talking to him.

I guess because he's getting old.
Annnnd, there's no one there beside him,
now that mummy's not here anymore.

I know, I can't stand him alot.
But I try uh. I mean, he gets on my nerves,
really. And sometimes, he can be unreasonable too.

But I should not be selfish right?
I got to think about others.
I have to be more patient with him.

I mean, why can't he be like my grandmother?
Old, but still kicking ass! HAHA!
My dad, well, argh forget bout it.
I think he's mind is getting slower.

But my grandmother says,
he's getting from bad to worst.
I guess because he sleeps alot.
And people who sleeps alot,
will get stupider.

Because the brain will get slower,
and will not think as well.

HAH, good think i don't sleep much.
But I do start taking afternoon naps.
Ever since Zai keep sleeping

before he goes for soccer.

So without him online, bored uh.
And I don't want to layan any freakos.
So I sleep too XD

Last night, i had tuition.
and teacher said i haven't been to class,
for 3 weeks. and gosh, how shock am I ;D

Teacher got tired of me, Irda and Zamir.
Because we talk to much,
laugh to much and made toooo
much noise. Sorry uh teacher.

WE LOVE YOU uh, she's so patient with us.
I guess I have to give her a break too X)

Anyways,
don't you people know.

WHEN YOU GOSSIP,
the people you are gossipping about,
will sooner or later find out what
it is all about..??

well if you don't,
then you are fucking stupid uh.

SO, the bottom line is don't gossip about things,
that is

not worth gossipping.

BECAUSE, i'm not worth to be gossiped for.
I'm a normal human like you,
I'm not a celebrity,
or someone popular.

Yeah, maybe because I have alot of friends.
That doesn't mean I don't have the right to
have fun with them rrighhhhhhht?

I mean, yeah, to be frank,
i have more guy friends than girls.
But that DOESN'T MEAN i'm a flirt.
I just enjoy and prefer GUYS to GIRLS.
(& i'm not a Bi-, i'm straight :D)

Plus, i'm a social butterfly,
(not a social bird, haha!)
which means, i make alot of friends,
and is exposed to the public.

It's like my freaking problem la,
if i want to make more friends outside school.
That did not put you to trouble what.

And yeah, you, thanks for calling me a bitch.
UNREASONABLY. A bitch have a fuck up attitude.
But i don't. STUPID uh you. fucktard.

Straight to the point babe,
All i do was to make myself happy,
THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE YOU.
Yet you feel uneasy about it.

Do you think I give a fuck

about what you say?

No uh, it's my life,

so if i want to go out with guys

and even girls outside school,

that's my freaking problem.

NOT YOURS,

so all you can do is,

cry over how little

friends you have.

GROW UP LA PLEASE.
It's not as if you never go out with guys before.
Don't tell me you are so JAKON.

* I know uh, girls like you,

anything about guys is

SO SPECIAL.

That when you don't have it,

you blame on someone who HAS IT XD

LOSERS.

* more details at my private blog ;D

the extra details are the italicized words

in the private blog X)

smoochhh you!

2006-09-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

yay.
i kissed and tell today.
haha. it was so sweet luh.

*one long last one.

then went home.

went to TM alone.
so many the ite mats.
tasha if you were there.
cair uh awak.

but me, no time uh nak cair.
haha, im still struck by that moment.
THAT very moment :D

went to popular,
saw my brother.
then said hi,
then go tamp lib,
then study again,
then go MAC buy food,
then go home.
YAY, the end.

ok dah, lovelovezai many uh.
ok chaos :D

glad you liked it,
i liked it too XD

* I EDITED THIS POST.

for some reasons.

fuck, rawrr.

** my private blog

have the detailed post.

go find it ;D

wheeeeeeeeee:D

2006-09-04T10:23:00.000+08:00

hello you.

haha.

i think what aidil said

about not able to sleep

is true.

i think because we are

all in a holiday mood

and we all want to enjoy

almost every minute

with fun right?

but it seemed boring uh.

well, not for me actually.

yesterday,

it was a lucky thing

that zairi could not sleep.

first time seh he said that.

because he usually sleep early.

cannot tahan his sleepyness.

tsk tsk.

haha, oh well.

we then used the mic.

I GOT MIC ALREADY UH ZAI.

so we are all EVEN.

haha!

he asked me to wait for him

while he finish his dota game.

i agreed to wait but

my brother wants to use my laptop.

so, i ask him to just msn me

and let my brother know uh.

yeah, he did.

and something happened to aidil!

my brother asked me if he

could joke with him.

i asked my brother to

tell aidil to sms me.

and he said if he could call.

so my brother said for me,

"Okay, help me ask Jesus to call me too."

aidil was shocked uh,

so he called me what merepek

i was typing.

the actual fact was,

he was typing with my brother.

So yeah, while waiting for zai

to finish playing his beautiful game

of Dota, i talked with aidil.

All the craps.

Too many craps.

And he told me all about

the Ziela Wanker.

Haha,

eh suhail,

ZEILA'S a wanker.

just like the guy who wants

to get to know her.

Same species seh dorang!

HAH!

Then zai asked me to call.

He IM me in msn.

Then my brother asked me to call.

Then my brother said,

"Why is he calling you? Ask him to call la."

*Yeah like bf calls the gf.

Then I said,

"My turn uh to call,

don't wanna put him into trouble.

I'm a good gf you know...".

Then my brother laughed,

"Oh please nigga!!"

HAHAH!

Yeah, while on the phone with aidil,

I was watching The American Haunting.

And while on the phone with Zai,

I was watching Channel 5

and some chinese comedy.

We chated till late

@ about 2.16am.

Then I couldn't sleep.

And I was hungry.

So me and my bro

bought MAC delivery.

Then I ate until about 4am.

I went to sleep.

With my glasses on -.-"

I wanna buy contacts uh.

Or maybe a new pair of spectacles.

OHOH! and that Topshop shades.

Hehhs.

*Can't wait to bite zai tmr.

Beware zai,

beware :D

ohyay.

2006-09-03T14:53:00.000+08:00

♥
oh yay.
i forgot what
i'm supposed to
blog about today.

oh wells,
let's get random baybeh.

i wanna bite cherrrieee..

that is the photo.
that spongeaidil took.

hmmm,
now real randomisation.

i love robots.

i prefer to write
in pencil to pen.

i love polka dots
and stripes.

i love colors.

i love myspace
and friendster.

i love blogs.

i love cats.

i love teddy bears.
real cute ones.

i love food.

i love chocolates.

i love darkhotpink
and purple.

i love all my bitches.
wait i have only one.

i love my
spongebob squarepants family.

i love going out with zach.

i love going out.

i love guys.
but not now.
i only love him.

i love sleeveless tops
and skirts.

i love hipsters.

i love converse.

i love kissing people
and people kissing me.

i love hugging people
and people hugging me.

i love dinosaurs.

i love mummy.

i love zairi.

i hate you.

i hate my sister.

i hate her
she's getting lame.

i hate insects.

i hate being broke.

i hate egos.

i hate zombies.

i hate my family.

i hate school.

i hate the world.
it's getting nonsensical.

i hate copycats
and poseurs.

i hate some
shitbag monsters
who thinks what they do is
ubber cool.
yeah riiiighhht.

hey beb, i'm sexaye. haha!
farhaan made me like the word
"sexy" haha thanks.
ok chaooos.

morning!

2006-09-02T09:31:00.000+08:00

Hello people,
yeahs it's morning.

I just woke up with
a honet(bee) flying
from the kitchen to
the balcony
back and forth.

And it's scaring me.
Really. Haha.

Finally, had a midnight call
with zairizairizai :D
A call I've been waiting
for like elephant years.
Huhu!

Okay, I got this from
Cherie's blog earlier.
And damn, it is so fucking true.
It's like 100%,
ok no, 130%
argh damn.
IT IS JUST SO TRUUUEE!

Nurul Fatin bte Hassan --

[noun]:

A person who laughs at anything (even this entry)

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Yeah, I laugh almost everything.
And yes, I laugh at this entry to
when I first saw it.
HAHAHA!

I was like wtf and laughing,
laughing in shock XD
ok uh, that's all
for this morning.
ok chaos.

PS* OHOHOH!
Farhan's song is after my "name".
It's ' Umainee was my lady '.
At first it was, Nonnie.
Then I told him why not Umainee?
He said yeah, why not.
And he said that Nonnie sound irritating.
Well, for me, it sound like some nonya's name.
Haha. Happyhappy. I want to make band tees
for them, but i got to master vector first.
SUHAILAH teach me...!!

*you know i love you,

i know you do too.

iloveyoulazai!

bored

2006-09-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

Arrrrgh, I'm fuck dead bored. 2nd post. pffft..

Mood: frustrated, fucked up, confused, devastated, pierced right through.
Listening to: End - Secondhand Serenade

Here's what I get from Zach's gf blog.

Find a guy,

who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

So yeah, fatin, which one?
I would say none,
because I found one,

and why am I running for him?
I guess, he likes it.
But that's not the way to treat a lady.

I guess I am you know.
But you know it's hard for me to.

Don't get the wrong idea,
I'm not desperate.
I just need you that's all.

Am I wasting my time with these feelings?
The pressure's off now so I'm back on the ground.
Too bad, I kind of liked it in the clouds with you.
Because you take me away from
everything and everyone,
that's held me back for so long.
Heaven for a few days,
makes up for all the hell that life's dealt me,
even now that's gone.

It seems he's got your attention now, lucky guy.
But isn't that the way it always ends?
It seems he's got your attention just like you got mine.
I'll express my feelings,
then sit back and watch you walk away.
You're beautiful in every way to me.

ohmygod fatin,
is this your first time?
wanting a guy so badly?

well, i guess, in fact,
it's more that once,
just the same old guy.
the same old guy.

*I'll hold you closer and tell you I love you
but it won't matter in the end
It's obvious you're leaving soon
I'm left with just another heart to mend.
Again, again and again..

wahha.

2006-09-01T10:34:00.000+08:00

Okay edit, I'm changing the format of the way I blog.

Yesterday cabot from school.
Haha, okaye la no, I skipped.
Woke up around 10+ and was thinking of
what to wear for the outing I've been waiting for.
Anyways, Zach called and wanted to meet at
Bugis around 12.30 noon.

I arrived a little late though because
the time on my handphone was set to AM and
i thought i still had so much time to walk slow and
shake my ass to the mrt station.

It was raining and I wore my hoodies.
Wah, I can hear many comments uh from
the mat mat kentalans baru balek teacher's day celebration.
So I got fed up I put down my hoodies and
then say FUYOOOH. Alarh whatever.
Fatin sempat jeling kat dorang:D

When Zach arrived,
I lied to him I was in the MRT when actually
I was still walking! Sorry Zach!
Sorry, I didn't meant to lie though,
don't wanna get you angry or
worst still BMS! Hoho.

Yeah, met zach at Bugis and
then went to Bugis Street.
Anyway Zach,
I prefer you wear strectable jeans
rather than girl pants. Seriously.

Oh, and there was budak pompan tudung,
staring me and saying Palakcino(taufiq).
Stare macam jakon.
Lucky I was with Zach. Haha!

Oh wells, went to Topshop and
I have to get Zach a cardigan that costs more
than the pants he wanted at Topmen.
I think I buy you the pants uh.
NEXT year that is.
I hVE atleast save about $79.90
for that pants.

And I wanted that high heel boots from Topshop.
$186 bucks man. Nevermind uh,
I go get at Far East.

Then we met Fai and Cherie at Orchard MRT.
Went to eat at Fareast.
Ate LJ and we joke many many there.
With Fai's lip piercing and using the bubbletea pearl as stopper!
Haha! And then we went around.
I bought my brother's present.
And yadayada,
Aidil called and yeah we have to meet him at City Hall.
So yeah, I was rather pissed. But well, we just did.

Saw many many many friends of his.
Like Farhan and I don't know who else
because I forgot.
Btw, I only knows the name Farhan
but not the person.
They did showed me but I got confuse.
Because I wasn't paying attention. Huhu!

Then we went of to Marina Square Shopping Center
or whatever la it is called.
I always call it Marina Shopping Center.
Oh wells, went to the arcade.
Poor fai, he was really fucked up with us.
He doesn't like playing games I guess.
So he just went in and sat down watching us.
They played Daytona and I helped Zai to win :D
because he was 2nd and Zach was 1st
but I disturbed Zach and he got 2nd and
Zai won 1st(:

Went off, and yeah, they had to go.
So me, Cherie, Fai and Zach
went to Esplanade Library.
Yeah we slacked there.
I sat there and was about to sleep.
The walking really burned me out.
So then we were hungry then
we went to eat at Makansutra there.

And what the fuck Aidil revealed my secret.
The secret of laughing the most rabak-est.
All my classmates knew the way I laugh so yeah,
they were really shocked by it.
But got used to it so whenever I laugh in class,
they stared at me and then continued on their work.
Haha! Fatin is such a huge distraction in class,
but I always got off.
*Not like someone eh, laugh laugh and then kene halau class*
HAHA!

So yeah, they said I laugh as if I was drowning.
What the bloody fuck.
I was out of air la!
Haha, okaye la same uh.
Then aidil just kept making me laugh.
I really can't stop. Fuckatard.
My stomach hurts sak.

Anyways, when we went to Esplanade toilet,
Aidil shocked me.
Instead of screaming, I laughed.
And my reaction was like walking like the penguin.
HAHA! Then I made Fai laughed like LAUGH
even though he was having stiches or whatever.
Sorry Fai, I really can't stand laughing like that.

Haha, went to the MRT and I took it with Fai, I
showed my panda(: Hahaha. So yeps, he said it's really cool.
Anddddddddddd, when I alight the bus, he said,
goodbye penguin. @#$%# uh!
So yeah, I'm a penguin.
And Gary of evil Spongeaidil.

HAHAHAHAHA!
Was fun and I went home.
Sister was being a bitch,
threw out my stuff.
And I can't enter the room.
So I slept downstairs at the living room.
Yeah, she threw my things out
because I gave her attitude uh.

Seriously, is it wrong to forget to get things
and I had to walk around the house with shoes on.
Just for a fucking while right?
No as if she have not done that before
and not as if my other brothers done that before.

Plus, she's not gonna help me get my thing too what.
So what the fuck is she expecting.
So anyways, I found my stuffs being
PHYSICALLY abused by her.
Yeah, I learned not to cry.
I mean I won't cry for what she had done to me.
Because I dont give a fuck anymore uh.

I always cry when I screamed at my father uh,
because I don't mean it though.
But oh well, if she can give att to me
why cant i give to her?

Haha, well you better get ready.
You'll wont be seeing me.
You are the people who are making me hanyut.
Not my fault. I was even thinking of trying SKL
because it's kinda sweet.
Haha, but yeah second thoughts no.
After seeing what happend to Fai.
Okaye, one puff in front of my family.
Hehhhs. So Zach, Umainee will isap soon.
WAHHHAHH.

Anyways, you might be asking me
why I've not been taking revenge
and not standing up myself.
I'm planning for the sweetest.
So yeah, sabar je la.
Haha. Mepeks uh.

Oh fucks, someone hates me.
That very person jumped of the building at level 14!
At Tasha's block. Argggghhhh damn.
Hahaha. And oh, 3 guys asked me at MSN saying if I'm single.
I really dont know what to say.
And I made Zai upset. I'm sorry. I really am.
I still love you though.

I slept yesterday and my
whole leg was numbed by the cold.
So went up to Dad's room and off the fan and slept.
My leg got better then I went down and sleep again.
Haha. Yeah. What a day.

Today....??
Hmmm, gonna study but where?
My house like packed with fuckatards.
Okay only one. Oh yes, she's going out.
I think I'm designing uh.

And I hate you la Dad,
never there to defend me.
ARGH, that is why father,
I'm happy if you give me money.
Nothing else,
because you are really useless.
Seriously. Show some affection, someday.
Too late? ARGHHHHHHHHH im talking crap.

*Hey I want you so badly,

take me will you.

I really love you,

you know that zai?

another story

2006-08-30T16:14:00.000+08:00

Yes, it was raining heavily. And, I can be blown off by the winds. So I went to the block near the bustop and I sat there, praying for the rain to stop. While waiting, I was cold and shivering, I smsed Zach. He said I isap. Mepeks uh. Haha. Then I saw the technical guys. Yeah, Mr.Hairuddin. Da tak sombong uh dier. Haha, he said I was sombong, tak cakpa kat dier, tak smile kat dier. Si when I saw him, I waved at him. He said, kehsian dier, tunggu matair? Then in my heart, yes, i wish i was, waiting for Zai >.< Hoho!

Then saw Sutina, the sec 1 bitch. Stared me like not happy. So what did I do? I just continued smsing Zach. Haha. So yep, the rain managed to decrease and I still through my way home. And the staircase to my block was flooded! Yes flooded, so I tip-toed haha! And, damn! I hate getting caught in the rain. Making me look like kuching kudut because i'm drenched and my hair looked funny. BUT! Hurrah for fatin, my hair was 1/2 wet 1/2 dry(: Thanks to my Secondary 2 English Assesmentbook!

Went home, had a hot bath. Wah, sedap. Then dry and clean, had lunch at my brother's room. Then do some cat walking in front of his cupboard mirror. And he reinvented his room, so yeah there was space for me to do some cat walk. So i did. And so did I, this morning before school. Then went to my bed, and I fell asleep! Woke up, went online and said HELLO to zai. He went off because he wanted to sleep. So, I chat with Alif, my austrailian friend.

To Alif,

Condolences to your late mother. I know how it feels to lose a mother. I really do. I'm happy you were strong enough to actually put yourself together, not like me. Time will be a little difficult for you, but like you said to me once, we will ALWAYS be linked to our parents. Now that you are alone, you still have your siblings. And you have the whole world in your hands. I really do respect you. Because you help me through the the bad times I had without a mother. It really hurts alot to lose a mother. I know it does. And not appreciating her enough was the biggest mistake we both did.

Well Alif, thankyou for all the advices and cheering me up. Though no matter how far from Australia and me, I still know you are a great person. No matter how irritating I find you sometimes, I still miss your craps. I still miss the talks about Kiamat and our religion. You made it sound so interesting. Yes, you are the greatest friend I ever had. Thanks for being there for me. So it's my turn, I'll be there for you.

Uhuhs, he talked about that Allah forgives my mum most because she had cancer and something else I forgot. I cried. Yes, I did. Because I really do miss her. She's the greatest mother ever. She never once hit me. Or even hit my siblings. I mean, I cried because I did not appreciate her enough. And that is my biggest sin. The biggest regret. Oh well, dont wanna start bragging about this. I just love mummy.

ANYWAYS alif, stay strong.

Ok, at school, NADYA KENE MARAH ABES ABES by Cikgu Netti, and I was like laughing silently. Amek kau Nadya, yes, i'm evil. I really like it actually. Sorry. Tu lah, saper suruh jawab balek kat cikgu. Muker cikgu da merah, maseh nak bahaser kan dier? Haha sorry uh. LOL!

I had BMS because of whoelse. And then because OF RIZAL. Made me angry just about a chair. Like duh, I cant sit on any chair. If it is just about a chair, then Hasif won't give a fuck about changing my chair. And yes, I've been screaming fuck all day at school. Not sure why. Guess I was having BMS that's why.

So yeah, another day.. I'm not going tuition. I almost threw up just now. Lol. Sick again. RARRRR! I totally hate this. I wanna be healthy agaiiiiiin! Yay, can't wait for tomorrow. And I have to get my brother a present. BUT damn i'm broke. Oh well.

2006-08-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

Haha, yeahs, came back from school. I have seriously nothing to blog about. But I shall just blog uh, since I have nothing to do. I went online also to wait for Zach, King BMS. Poor Fatin, Princess BMS, had such a bad day. Not really bad, i'm just fine with it.

Firstly, my precious Sony Ericsson phone is spoiled. Yes, all the pictures and the songs are still intact. Just that, I can't make a call. Sms? Yes, but I will receive it like.. about 10 minutes later. So I was like what the fuck. The navigation key sudah kental and the buttons are getting waaaay slower than before. So, time for new HANDPHONE(: I wanted N72 but my brother bought it without telling me! I already had N72 in my mind and he bought it -.-" Sedih la!

Anyways, I as for now, will be using my dad's phone. Nokia don't know what ever model. Then all my Sec1 slenge faces is there. And yes, just now in class, Farah and Tasha was laughing their asses off because of how slenger i look last time. Fine, I admit uh!! I'm ugly! Happy?

Had MT oral, I kept tersasol-ing. And my accent so english-like. Like duh, I speak english at home most of the time. Anways, during science lesson, teacher showed us how ABORTED BABIES looked like after the abortion process is being carried out. I was like.. WTF?! I mean, They melted the unborn babies, and some other methods i forgotten. I mean, the dead unborn babies have their heads cut off and all. I'm like.. SO!! SAD! It's like fucking cruel.

So yeah, if you are already pregnant, just keep the baby and have mercy on your own child. Let's change the topic. About yesterday, here are some things I did with Zairi, online(:

Yes, i love you too(:

The craps we made(:

ohtayes, i'm done(:

dont try to make me jealous

2006-08-27T09:47:00.000+08:00

She is forever will be like what she used to be.
She will never change though

no matter how hard she tries.

And even if she changes,

she changes for you.

She just thinks,

she's everything..

Everything she's not.

Yes so little rotund girl, don't you act innocent with me. All along, you are not and never. You changed your attitude for the sake of me, why not yourself? You just want all guys to love you right? By your indecent yet "beautiful" flaws. And telling stories and fake alibies to me about how unhappy you were with your another rotund friend. In the end, you are better off with her and better off spending time with guys you said you hate -.-" Haha, just for the sake of well from what I seem is, attention? Or maybe just to let them know, you are just nice -.-" You know what is your problem? You think you are always the kind of girl guys want. For one reason, if you grow up a little more or just much more, you will know what I mean. So much of your drama love life. I simply do not want to hear and give a fuck about that. Because bottom line is, you just love entertaining guys no matter what the consequences are. So yes, don't bother telling me anything. I don't think I will care though you think I really do. You know why? Because I am just here for you.

OHOH! Fatin is being too nice again. Oh well, what is the problem with people nowadays? People will hate me to the core if I'm evil. Because when I am, I will really be. And if I'm nice, I end up hurting myself. Maybe this people are just taking advandtage of me (as usual) and then use my weakness to try make things worse. Well I had enough, I think I really should care for myself and be a little selfish. No point caring for that particular person who simply dont care. I will as for now, think of myself towards those people who have taken me for granted. You guys really suck.

Well so, MANY people are calling me last night. About 5-6? Okey not many uh. First is Zairi(: Because I want him too. Hahah. Then this guy from Jurong who seemed to have the wrong number but in the end wanted to get to know me. And I said, go find out yourself. Hahha. In a nice manner uh. I'm not really as rude as you think I am you know. Then 3rd, childhood friend called me, asking if I could go meet him after today and I asked him for what, he said because he missed me and wanted to share problems uh. And form what he said, I think he just is desperate for girls. 4th one, is well, a friend online asking me to layan(entertain) him because he was bored. I said to him, call other girls please. Haha then I hang up. So while I was reading, someone called and so I terpakser layan because the book is boring and yes I'm bored. In the end, the last caller called me when I was sleeping. It was a prank call saying why i must dump him.. Then I dont know what the fuck he was talking about and I said this "Oh, because I'm not cheap and I know you are just desperate." Then I put down the phone and laughed to sleep.

So today, I have many things to do. So I don't think I will be online much. But I will never fail to ^-^ hahah! Hmmm, so.. I can't believe that Miss Hani can crap alot alot. Since she wanted me to blog about it. I will then hahah!

Crap number1:
On the day I accompanied her to highlight her hair at East Point or whatever mall in Simei, there was this restaurant called the "Han River". Then Tasha said, "Eh Hani River!" Hahah, so I asked Hani, "Aper kau buat ngan river tu Hani?". And she started singing -.-"

Dayung sampan,
Dayung dayng sampan.

*With her semangatness to act
how she paddled the sampan.
Claps for HANI!

Crap number2:
The next day during DNT class, as usual we did not do our work but end up crapping. About what we are going to do about displaying items. So, Hani decided to display Antidotes -.-"
Here is her problem summary in her folio:

I went to this shop called Antidote.
And I was not satisfied by the way they display their antidote.
Every time I asked for a particular antidote,
the people of antidote
will take a very long time to look for the antidote.
I am very unpleased because in the end, I dont get my antidote.
So, I will be making a display case for antidote.
So I can display antidote.
And the shop will display their antidote.
And whenever I go to that shop again, I will get my antidote.

Get it? Haha as in the words that ends are always antidotes. Then I was like laughing like mad. and the english is so like one innocent nursery girl. Imagine Hani waaaay shorter than she is now with 2 ponytails and her mouth terngah-ngah (ok I dont know how to spell).

She erased of and wrote this:
I will now make a watch holder to display watches. I will be making this for my mother because she puts her watches and accesories in one ugly box. (Kurang ajar sey! hahahah!)

Well it might not be funny, but you must see and hear the way she said it. So darn funny.

Crap number3:
I FOGOT ABOUT IT. Sorry.
Oh yeah, it's about that phone sex that we were joking about at KFC. But terlalu cencored so I dont think I will be posting.

HAHAHHAHAH. So yes Miss Tasha got her N73 already. And she kept smsing me and I don't know what to reply. Maybe because she enjoy and was excited with her new N73 that she kept smsing me hoping that I will layan her. Then sms me till 2am+ TASHA! I'M SLEEPING ALREADY LA. Oh I sprayed my hair pink(: HAHA, for what? For fun :D

----

i let myself fall into a lie
i let my walls come down
i let myself smile and feel alive
i let my walls come down

no matter how i try i don't know why
you push so far away
you wrapped your hands tight around my heart
and squeezed it full of pain...

for you(:

Thanks alot.

2006-08-26T11:36:00.000+08:00

Hey, sorry for not posting. I've been out shopping lately. Anyways, thanks for all the care tags i've been getting from you people. Thank you all(: I really need that.

Well, here are the tags I've yet to reply. Huhu.

Jamilah: Hey, yes, I'm shuting myself up. Haha. But not for long, I will memekak back. Too hyper already. HAHA!

Syafiqah: Thanks alot, I'll try to talk with you alritght? Takecare.

SARAH'D: Yeps, dark days. Irritating huh. But I guess, they will always strike. It's the matter of how to handle it. And that part really suck. HAHA!

Alia: HAHA! SG idol huh? Yepyep. I was there(:

Sarahbloghopper: First, thanks for visiting my blog. Second, thanks for the care tag. Yes, I should think about them and particularly not myself. Lastly, thanks for tagging. Thanks for everything(: Takecare.

Yuzhu: HELLLLLO!!!!! Haha. Yes, be strong. That's what I always get. Well, being strong sometimes IS not enough. All I need now is, A FRIEND LIKE YOU! Thanks for being there(:

ZACHARY: Yes, I will(: But first, help my pinmples YOU MADE get off my face! HAHA, sure i'll share :D Thanks King BMS(:

Yes, I guess that's all it. Well, now, I shall post whatever I planned to post.

Wednesday night.
Went to Singapore Idol. Caught on TV(: HAHA. And I look wayyyy kekek seh. It looks as if it's not me at all. I'm like so ugly. LOLS! Shouting for HADY Mirza lerrr.. Who else. HAHA.

Went back home, walk into the long stretch of rich people's house. A very long stretch and the house was like gigantic and so, well, rich type looking. So palace-like feeling. Unfair! I wish I could have that kind of house. Then I won't go out much(: While walking, Tasha ran and pulled me because she terperanjat (shocked) by Imah and I too was shocked, screamed and ran with her. We ran like 2.4 run and we are not tired at all. HAHAHA. I think I should have sprinted 2.4 first 2 rounds screaming with Tasha, then I can atleast get better timing. This year's timing fucking suck. Because I never ate breakfast and had no energy -.-" Okey, then while running, dogs were barking and it made us run more.

Finally reached to the road, took cab to Lau Pa Sat(: Bought 20 sticks satay and went home. I saw this girl wearing the MacBeth Shoe and her shoe size so big. And it made the whole look ugly. I dont think I want to buy. I thought of buying the high heel boots so i could cover up my scar. But the color is fading and tasha and some other people said NO ONE WOULD GIVE A FUCK to my scar, so i guess I wanna buy this old school converse sneaker. HOHO converse again. I'm like so converese-d sey. I love the quality and the simple design that matched my whole outfit. Plus, the brand is another thing that stands out the whole thing making it look special. BUT STILL I WANT MACBETH. But Tasha said I don't look good in those kind of shoes because I'm thin :< sedih sey. Haish, see first uh.

Then went home took bus. Reached home around 11+ went to sleep straight. The next day never went to school. I did not wake up and dad did not wake me up either. So, in the afternoon went to accompany miss Hani with Tasha to highlight her hair. She highlighted it red. And it's nice for me though. I'm highlighting dark violet coset to black. And it's halal. So yeah, can solat(: Went home and studied.

Friday, not much things happen but there's alot of jokes in DNT class. And in mother tongue class, cikgu smack my head with a stack of worksheets because i was talking to suhailah tooo much. Hahha. Then i said to cikgu, tak baik tau pukul orang berdoser. lols. After school went home, get changed to go shopping. Went to FarEast and shopped like 80 bucks on 2 shirts and a skirt. And when I go out with Zach again, I'm buying more at Voltage near that shop so I will be needing about 100 bucks again and oh, what the fuck, Dad's cutting my allowance or either I wont be getting for september month.

Went home bathed, chat with who else? my one and only demolition lover. HAHA. Then was about to sleep. Someone called. Then just talk uh, till I cant hold my eyes and then kebabooom, i went to sleep thinking of who who who? zai(: Yeps. So today, cant go out. must study for finals and CLEAN MY ROOM. ohtayes? bye..

I don't know,

if i'm still

able to do this.

♥ FATIN

2006-08-23T14:36:00.000+08:00

You know, im like the stupidest person in the whole wide world.
That when mummy was alive,
I used to think she loved my brothers more.
And now when she's gone.
I knew it all.
She love me most.

Accusing me of being hanyut.
A bad person.
A criminal.
Atau orang tak betol.
What did I do?
Just because I sit infront of the computer,
not doing any chores,
try to isolate myself.
Is that wrong?

I even remember.
The day arwah mummy meninggal.
A few weeks later,
I woke up early in the morning to clean the house.
& I get scolded.

Who scold me? My fuckatrd sister la.
I still remember the converstation.

Sister : EH APER NI?! BUANG LA!
Me: Orang tengah kemas uh. Nampaksah buang nanti.
Sister: EH YOU SHUT UP! GI BUANG!!

I was clearing the rubbish in the livingroom.
The unused papers.
I placed it on the table for a while.
I thought I vacuum the house first then throw it.
And there she go, throwing vulgarities at me.
Luckily my grandmother was there.
If not, the fight will never end.
Besides, whose the one cleaning up?
Who is the one just sitting down watch TV?

She said she want to rembat me if she's not happy with me.
Rembat uh. I'm not scared. I dont fucking care.
When I tried to run away,
I end up at my grandma's house.
Because I want to spent time with grandma.
She would cry with me, the memories I used to had with arwah mummy.
& i would complain my problems to her.
Like I used to with arwah mummy.
But now, at home,
all I can do is complain to the blog.

My friends? They act as if they cared.
But they can't do anything about it neither.
They have their own problems.

My siblings? What the fuck do they care?
My father?! I rather talk to a stranger than him.

So you see people?
Why I always come home late almost everyday?
Because, I know, there's no point staying at home.
Like when I did, I said to myself.
"Fatin, you have to stay at home, the house is getting emptier, and it's not good."
And when I was at home,
I thought I would talk to my father.
But no, he went to sleep. If not work.

Okey, so what do you really want me to do?
DO ALL THE HOUSEWORK?!
OKAY FINE. I TRY.
But too bad fuckatards.
I have tuition tmr.
Meaning i'll be home around 10+pm
Or maybe....

Oh what the heck.
I think I want to be just like my 2nd brother.
What he did was..
SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR 3 YEARS
and still shutting.

SO yeah, my family will consist of 3 corrupted children out of 4.

Hey, I tried my best not to follow my friends,
who offered me to do stupid stuffs.
I said no.
Why? Because I dont want to make my family lose face.
Why? Because I care about them.
And now, if I dont care.

You now people.
People do stupid things for no reason.
I do it for reasons.
Not that I'm stressed.
Yes, I'm stressed.
But I'm doing stupid things as for revenges.
Because my family dont fucking know that I tried to behave very well outside.
Just for them. Just so that they wont lose face.
First person I think of.
What would ayah do to me if i did so, will he throw me out?
If yes, HURRAY~!
What happen to nyayi, no i cant do this.
I must think of her too.
WHAT ABOUT ARWAH MUMMY? Will she still love me?

Yes, you think I'm bragging over simple things.
BUT IF, you were very emotional like me,
very vulnereable, easily hurt.
very weak, and takes a long time to stand strong.
You cannot hold this anymore.
I'm 14,
i'm still a kid,
i'm growing up.
I need time,
attention,
help and
guidance.
and is this the fuck you giving me?

Other people go for counselling when 1of their parents past away.
They end up hanyut.
Me? Never go,
never end up hanyut,
still being accused of one.

Why? Just because I sit ouside the gate
so that I won't be able to hear all the blabberings
and vulgarities thrown at me,
you think i'm going outside to what?
carik hal? smoke? get raped? go gang fights?
MY PROBLEM LA.
Just sitting outside the gate not even a 1 metre away and you think
im looking for trouble. i even brought my science text book.
to study while getting fresh air.
& you said, i was like orang tak betol.
I JUST NEED AIR.
SPACE! PRIVACY!

and you want me to come in and inhale all those words?
All those words like, you fucking bitch?
just because i never make you happy.
I JUST SIT DOWN THERE AND DO MY WORK.
and that makes you unhappy?
if the sight of me irks you,
then let me run away la.
dont let me go home.

on the way home and there was like traffic jam or anything,
called me saying i better be home.
I AM ON THE WAY HOME.
scold me also no use.
but why do you still have to scold?
arwah mummy used to call me,
and ASK me nicely, where i am.
I said i was on my way.
AND SHE EVEN ASKED ME TO BE CAREFUL.
what did i get?
TAK BALIK, AYAH TAK KASIH KELUAR BARU TAU!

What does that suppose to mean?
So if I want to go out, i dont go home uh?
OK! I get it. SO ayah, if i run away home,
dont ask me to go home ok?
AND! when I was thinking to run away,
I knew he ask me to come back.
And even if i did, he will scold me.
SO fatin, leave forever? commit suicide? no.
YOU WILL NEVER SEE HEAVEN IF YOU DO.

I'm a nice, cheerful and cute to people.
But not to my family members.
why? BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE.
I had to do my homework. I want to study.
And all of this happen.
So I did not study.
And I'm terribly hurt. My eyes are so fucking red.
I cant breathe at all. And no one cared.

You see people.
Life without a caring mother,
is like a living hell.

Everyday,
I lost every bit of myself.
I can't self-motivate.
People won't motivate me.
So is it really my fault?

Is it my fault,
that you had a bad day at your work?

Is it my fault,
I forgot to throw a piece of tissue on the makeup table?

Is it my fault,
that your pillow fall from the bed?

Is it my fault,
that i put the aircon control on the makeup table?

Is it my fault,
that the papers not belonging to me are on you territory?

Is it my fault,
to use drink you water unconditionally?

Is it my fault,
to use your slipper?

SO is it your fault,
to use my slipper?!

NO! Nevermind.
Fatin bersabar je.

SO is it your fault,
that you used my LAPTOP without permission?
NO, even if i accuse you of using things without my permission,
you shout vulgarities at me.

When things fall, it may be the cause of wind.
NOT ME! I was downstairs all along.

So what is your problem?
If everything is my fault.
Fine, I will not be.
You will not see me anymore.
And it's all my fault.
I've already have plans how to escape.
Don't try to stop me. Please don't.

HOHO? That was the post for what happened last night. I couldn't sleep so I blogged to vent my anger. Yeap, so, today.. Went to school with big fat swollen eyes. Even Mr. Chen (DNT teacher) realised. And he asked me why. I was almost at the verge of my tears. Everytime when people ask me what are my problems, I'll start to tear, and I will lie. I really do not like telling people my problem. I need help. I won't ask. Not because I'm afraid, but because I just think they will think I'm making a big fuss. I didn't sleep well either. Not even eat.

Today, I tried to laugh. Yes, I managed. My friends, my everything are always the ones to make me smile. So Father, I prioritise my friends over family because they seem to care more. So don't blame me if I spend too much time with friends rather than family. Besides, spending time with my family is such a waste. No happiness at all. And you expect me to prioritise family first? Reminds me of the movie Click. Family first. Nah, no point.

So, I went back home, told Father that I'll be going out to watch Singapore Idol. Free tickets again. And guess what he said to me. "Don't spend too much time outside la. I dont like okay. Don't do stupid stuffs." So what if you don't like. Your problem la. I dont care anymore. Then want me to spend time at home? I don't like also. So it's my problem and I want to go out. Besides free ticket. You want me to just say bye? Even if I'm not going. I will still be out.

So yes, my eyes are still swollen. And I wanna sleep. So takecare people. Ok chao!

* I almost choked&suffocated myself yesterday.
HOHO! Happy hours huh?

trustyou?

2006-08-22T19:22:00.000+08:00

Yesterday WAS FUN.
In school, new sitting position. Yet, we are not broken apart. I MUST, WAJIB, HARUS sit with Tasha because I simply cannot live without her la! Haha, instead of sitting with Suhailah and Nadya, Tasha and me sat with Farah and Hani. KECOH tau. HAHA. All of us banyak cerite. Non-stop talking sey. Either one of use must talk if not, all. Haha. Then either me or Tasha will start to laugh. If not BOTH OF US. On the way to Music Room even violent. I chased TASHA(: then run run run in the corridor pekik terlolong. Then in Music room before teacher come, she attacked me! Smacking me with the music file. Then I chase her. Haha. Then while watching Yanni musical? Or whatever orchestra video, I tried to pose her. I copymeow her moves. Made her laugh! HAHA! TASHA! KAU ATK BOLEH KETAWER MACAM KUDER LAGIK! BLUEAK! Oh and yeah, that day.. they all laughed at me because I silent laughed. When I silent laughed, my nose will kembang. Bachins sey. HOHO!

After school, went window SHOPPING ngan saper lagik? TASHA LER. Go in and out of almost every shop. Tried the samples of makeup. KEKEK la, but we having fun. Then went to her house. MAIN MAKEUP! WAHAHAHHA.. Takder kerje sey kiterang.

Went home. HAHA!

------

TODAY!

Was fun also. Especially after school.
In school, laughed as usual. Laughed too much until I forgot what we actually laughed about. But yes, I was hurt too. But I knew Tasha is always there(: So there's no point to be hurt.

AFTER SCHOOL, went to buy the the sexy cool kitty necklace and ear rings. Tasha took the necklace and I took the ear rings. We will share tauuu.. Blood sisters what. HOHO. Anyways, takder kejer lain nak buat kiter gi EXPLORE. Explore gi maner? BARTLEY SECONDARY SCHOOL. I know, the place is boring, BUT the journey was FUN(:

THE TRIP TO BARTLEY SECONDARY SCHOOL.

Tasha and Fatin bought Mc Flury and had nothing else to do.

So Fatin asked Tasha if she wants to EXPLORE new places.

Tasha agreed and asked where to?

So Fatin said, BARTLEY SEC?

Then Tasha, with her semangatness said, NAKKKK!!

So while waiting for the bus at the bus 22 queue,

Fatin called demolitionlover for directions(:

He sick uh, alarrrrh kehsian! GET WELL SOON!

While on the bus, Tasha smsed me.

Then she came to sit behind me.

She said, there's a lady tocuhing her guy's tootsy.

So I was soooo shock.

When we alighted the bus,

She explained.

Still shocked, I was like EWWWW.

Then, there's a wild dog infront of us.

Tasha pulled me and we turned around to walk back.

SHE SHOUTED,

"ANJING ANJING! NURUL ADER! ANJING!"

I in the other hand, was laughing and was about to pee.

Because Tasha already had no voice and she shouted

in the most KEKEK-iest manner.

I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.

while tasha look for a place to hide!

HAHAHA!

TASHA! I LOVE YOU LA!

MAKE ME HAPPY, PANDAI EH.

WAHAHHAHA!!

----

okey la. i so tired uh. want to know more? call me, sms me, or.. msn me. I wanna study for science. MUST ACE THIS ONE. Biology okey(: lols!

and in just one day,

you lost the trust from your beloved.

WHAT IS EQUALITY, my dear?

yay! finally.

2006-08-20T10:07:00.001+08:00

HOHO! Finally! I bought my Zen Vision: M (black) a.k.a "Suhailah", because it features pandas in the advertisment. HAH! I love the picture quality. It's damn damn damn clear. Clearer than My sister's Zen Vision One? So now, I'm not gonna be jealous of you people in the MRTs and Buses for showing off your MP3 because, I HAVE THE LATEST with me. Muuuhahaha!

First of all, me, my brother, and his girlfriend Kak Shifa, took taxi to Plaza Singapura. Then went to Creative Store. And, suprisingly, this worker who we asked for quires or whatever it's spelled, was showing off his badot acts! haha, no uh, just giving us bad service. Then we asked a lady, she was way much better. After that, we went to have our lunch. And yes, I was hungry. HOHO! I ate, Grilled Pepper Lamb with Rice, Oreo Cheesecake and finish off Chocolate Banana Cake? HOHO! I love cakes. Seriously. But I haven't grow any fatter -.-" Oh the place we ate was at Secret Recipe. Something similar to Swensen, just a mini version. HAH!

Then, went to the guitar shop, and played arcade. I'm not the arcade kinda person. I just play the driving ones and the table with pucks? Table hockey? yeah, that one.. I very hyper. HOHO! PS* I CANNOT PLAY WITH TASHA, she will destroy my hand before destroying me in the game.

Went home, AND I SAW MY FACE AT SINGAPORE IDOL!!!!!! hoho. kekek sey my face. macam belo. Tasha? JUMP SCREAM, if not. just stand and watch. Kiyooot la dier. And, I was on the phone with Zaiiii, and I did not let him see me. HAHA! He said bye to me forever.. Sedih sey! Sobs!!!

Then he called. HAHA! Cute la dier. Then while on the phone set up my Zen Vision. Talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk- then, sleeep(:

I woke up, and I saw, the pillows all over. HAha! okehs, picture of my zen vision, nest post is, I will show you my crushed zen neeon. WAHAHAH!

Okehs, Sorry my table have candle wax marks, because that morning I was playing with FIRE(: and the one on the left was my brother's ipod. Right, my lovely LOVEHATEHERO the name I (and Zai) gave to my Zen Vision. LADEEEDA! The rest, the kotak(box) and my books I've yet to touch.

why i hate humans

2006-08-19T10:14:00.000+08:00

Why do I hate humans?

Alright, Suhailah, you are right. Hating humans are way better than hating what's happening to your life. Seriously, the cause of all your life tragedies are humans around you. The people, your friends, your family members, MY LOVED ONEs. They are the cause of your downfall. The cause of your misunderstandings of life, making me feel if it's really worth living. Yes, I know, in my life things can NEVER BE PERFECT. But for once, it COULD BE right? Like, having to know SOMEONE OUT THERE truly loves you. & SOMEONE OUT THERE cares for you. And perfection can always be in all sorts of ways, like, GETTING WHAT YOU WANT or should i say possesions. Possesions and wealth, are not what I'm looking for, it's LOVE. Love seems to be the HARDEST to look for especially when the world is getting, evil, cruel and well, cold towards a beautiful innocent lost soul.

True love from family is easy you might say, WELL NOT FOR ME. Why must every single question, will make you cry? Must you shout at me? You think I'm deaf and stupid? And, must you make my life at home so unfair? Why should I make you happy? You never did to me. Why must I make your life easy?! You never did to me. So why should i? If you hate me being your sister, than might as well kill me straight right? You don't have to VERBALLY abuse me. I'm not some kind of recorder to check how LOUD you are. My ears are already busted for loud great music, not for your irritating remarks and "nice" abusive words.

True love from friends? It's bloody hard to have EQUAL love. Because you tend to neglect one another. I know having 3 bestfriends and yourself to love is hard. But, you don't have to hide things from me. EQAULITY means sharing things with each other. I feel like I'm always the one not knowing anything. THAT IS THE REASON WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND. You can't expect me to read it from your mind or go ask. I'm not that busybody. But if you think I am, understand why. Because I care for my bestfriends. Not that I want to know and make up stories. I DONT MAKE UP STORIES. If I were to, then my COMPOSITIONS should be way better than how I'm doing. When one bestfriend accusing you for hating her, YOU WILL HATE HER when actually, you don't. So don't blame me bitch. For all the anonymous tragedies. Why am I always the first to be accused of? Am I a criminal? What crimes did I do so far?!

And by the way, if you want to play timer, take it at your own fucking risk. Don't have to make others' live hard. If you have so much time to fuck around, then go taubat. Because, you are getting worse. Do you know, I look up to you for being so alim.. Now, you are just like the corrupted ones. Yes, I know I too have to taubat. But I don't do stupid things you know. Like making your own life suffer. Did Allah approve of that? No right? You know it too. You knew more than me then use what you know as and advantage. Not just what your MOTHER wants you to do.

Mothers want you to do what she wants you to do is because she knows what's best. Example not spending time with your friends is because she wants you to not pentingkan friends only. Because friends can lead you to bad influences, and she's afraid that you might do so. I AM NOT SAYING we are bad influences to you, BUT BASED ON YOUR MOTHER'S POINT OF VIEW that I guessed out of my mind. I mean that is standard. Okay, I know I shouldn't sembarang tembak, but I know what's life WITH a mother and WITHOUT a mother. I KNOW MORE THAN YOU. So don't think I tak tau hal.

Fathers are hard to understand. Especially towards daughters. With a only a Father to receive love. It's hard. Yes, he do care. But the way he cares are always scoldings, lectures, shoutings. And not to mention, accusations. Like I said, accusing me is making me feel like I'm a criminal. So what did I do wrong? Coming home late? Yes, sorry, but if I go home early, it's not as if I'm going to be happy. I know he's a guy and he doesn't know how to understand his little girl. Pfffftt..

Oh forget Fatin, you are not a heartbreaker, you don't take revenges and you don't like cursing people. So just hold on okay Fatin? Just bersabar. So thanks, for making me smile. Oh gosh fatin, how drama can this get?!

So, in this world, there's nothing much to love. With the world dying behind your back and the evil growing in front of you, yet people love it. All I love now is Allah for letting experience and feel what's love and how difficult to get the golden values of love. My arwah mother for giving as much love before she goes and yes, no matter how little I get, the moral of the story is, that she always cares. Not to mention, your mothers too.

Today, getting my Zen Vission M: BLACK(: Yay?!

Hearbroken I may seem,

There's nothing left fo me.

tak gi skolaa

2006-08-18T13:22:00.000+08:00

Ok hello, I didn't come to school today. I was sick. REAL sick. Around 1am-3am, I kept vomitting. Not sure why. I think indigestion? Haha, yeah.. And it was darn painful. The feeling like your stomach can't digest the food and it's like grinding against your stomach walls. Plus, I have fever and slight flu. Today got DNT test, but oh well.. I guess I have to stayback one fine day and take the test. How am I feeling now? Like fainting on my laptop. For the first time, this year, I thre up ALL the food that I ate that day. HOHO. I know disgusting. But I'm sick. And I was like lying beside my father screaming in pain. Then he wanted to bring me to hospital (I WAS HAPPY YOU KNOW, because later i can have innjections! HAHA!) but he said it's too early. Then I said nevermind, I just tahan.

So, I did not go to school. I woke up when school just ended. Haha, and when I stood up, I had migraines. So fuck you know. Very painful. Your head became so heavy to hold, and all you see is black. Blackout?

Anyways, we went to SINGAPORE IDOL and I touched, ALL OF THEM. Okay, maybe touch is a very wrong word to use, haha! Urm, shook hands? Haha! And screaming awayyyyyy! Jump around with Hani and TASHA. TASHA, was giler abes, touched HADY Mirza and she screamnt at me -.-" SAKIT TAU TASHA! And, 3 of us can be caught in the camera. So I'm watching the encore telecast! HOHO!

Went to eat at LPS not much picture uh. Was rushing so yeah..

Yesterday history was like a failure la. I studied LAST MINUTE. And I mean I studied on the day the test was. Tasha's voice was so kiyooot. HAHA, Tasha, kau sentiaser kiyooot. Haha.

Zairi zairi, when are you calling me?

I HATE YOU?

2006-08-13T15:05:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU LA BROTHER! Haha, actually not literally hate uh. HE GOT N72. The fucking phone I thought of buying this August. But thanks to him, for accidentally "put my skirt into the washing machine when my zen neeon is in there but he never check and so, my mp3 shattered", my dream of getting N72 was a *Goodbye, we're falling fast* situation. If only my mp3 is still alive and kicking great music into my ears, I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT N72 of mine. But noooo, too bad Fatin. So, just now, my father and sister were in living room, and when i found out he got a new phone, I jumped up and kept stomping. And I was like "EHHHH!! THAT'S SUPPOSE TO BE MINE!" haha, hoho.

Since my mp3 hancur berderai (shattered into pieces) I plan to get Zen Vision M and live longer with my half-dead handphone (k700i). My wishing list is actually more to MUST GET LIST. And gosh, it is getting longer and longer. So, I'm renewing it. Here it is:

My own digital camera
Samsung D520 slim phone
Zen Vision M (black) 30GB
Circa Black&Pink sneakers/MacBeth Black&Pink
That $45 black skull T-shirt
That$58 black plain dress
That boots
Skirts
Black jeans

That's all for now. But I think it's going to grow even longer as I go shopping. Haha. Anyways, yesterday went to JOHOR. Aper la Zairi.. Never tell me you going for jogging. Sedih tau fatin! haha! Takder la main main je laaa. Anyways, Johor that time got MUSIC FESTIVAL la. Then all the guys and gals there dress up. Woah, tak bleh angkat but actually they dress up better than Singaporeans uh to be exact. Dress like goth, emo, punk all sorts. They did not overdress nor underdress themselves. Not like some Singapore kiddos I see, OVERDRESSING THEMSELVES. hoho! Then when my auntie and all go walk infront and when I was walking alone sms-ing THIS IRRITATING GUY, got a group of mats? or should i say guys, sort of "surrounded" me and pushing me side by side. Fuck them uh. I'm just an ordinary innocent girl tau! Haha, then they call me "minah singapore". Fuckatards. Firstly, I am not a minah, because I'm of higher class then them, richer and knows how to BEHAVE. Besides, I dress waaay better than minahs. HAHA(: how? by NOT WEARING CHEAPSKATE CLOTHES? eh, I'm not saying you. I'm just saying to these bitches I saw at Bedok Interchange. LOLS! Wah tak boleh angkat. Anyway, after that when my auntie and uncle went to surau to pray, got this 3 minahs kept staring at me and my cousin uh. But my cousin still young so nampak sah they stare at me kan? Then when I found out that there's a guy asking them like "700 satu hari, amacam?" HAHA! Prostitute sial dorang. Make me laugh only. Lesson learnt, never look down at people when you are a low-class bitch. HOHO! Sorry eh to say this, maybe i'm not REALLY that pretty for you, but I really feel pretty at johor. Why? Wherever I walk, they will say budak singapore and they will stare and smile at you(: haha! That is one FANTABULOUS thing about being a singaporean. But seriously uh, how they know how to differantiate singaporeans apart from malaysians? I think because I SPEAK FLUENT ENGLISH(: and the way I speak malay so kekek. hoho! but my auntie advised me to speak malay with malaysians. To symbolise EQUALITY(: And oh, malaysians are friendly you know. But sometimes you have to be careful of friendliness and deceitfulness. Especially when I went to this japanese store, the cashier so kind. She helped me style and she waved and bye with a smile(: love her la! lols.

CAME HOME, straight away call SUHAIL and JOJO. and then ZAIRRRRRRRI(: yayness! haha! anyways, talked about the old school building his school took away from my school. Though haunted, memories ok. though only for 2 years in that school, pri.1 and 2 is so sweet and cute la. I remember i always get into trouble then getting away from it w/o a trace(: kehsian my syg zairi, kene experience. lols. last time pri.2 i also experience. i cannot get out of the room though the door is open. like someone dont let me go out. my feet rooted to the ground. haiyo. scary taus. hoho!

anyways, maybe going johor with zairi. i'm not sure if it is really gonna happen. but i'm happy i heard of this. haha! AND I NEED TO CHANGE MY PHOTO IN THE PASSPORT. 3 of the staffs kept saying, "this picture so cute so dont be scared to change, now pretty already ok?" haha! lawak la..

I LOVE YOU ZAI(:
HOHO!

damn im sick.

2006-08-11T06:41:00.000+08:00

Damn it! I'm like so sick right now. I'm having fever again where my fingertips sort of have this burning sensation. So whenever I type, (IGOARGHH!) i shut the fuck up. HAHA. And when I'm sick, I don't eat anything not even medicines. I haven't been eating quite well lately. Firtsly no food, no appetite. Everytime cook burger. Or drink juice, or eat myself up. I mean, Suhailah and Nadya took panadols (&i dont know how much bcos, idontgiveadamn) and it's like when i'm sick and I dont take panodal (when i'm supposed to but I dont want to!) and even forced my father, i stubbornly don't want. I'm not afraid of it. Just that I don't like taking panadols. I like panadol extent(: HAHA. For muscle and joint pains. I got the whole box with me now, and the effect of it are worse than just plain panadol. Actually no difference uh, just that you feel alot stronger? For me uh, since I feel weak when I'm having muscle aches. HAHA!

Anyways, went out with Zach and Amir. We watched CLICK. Haha, funfun. Then we took a hell of pictures. Funny uh. Then they kept touching my cheecks, pinching pun ader, messing my hair. Warrrrh, I really hate it la! HAHA. So I boxed Zacccch. Anyways, I bought Senses Fail side design. I want to buy that skull t-shirt worth of 45 bucks. Either Circa pink and black shoe/ Macbeth pink and black shoe. worth of approximately, $129. HAHA.

I really need to think how I can manage my money well, and oh, I really have to start filling my bank account because, it simply left with only $8!!!! HAHA!

OHOHOH! did I mention?? how sweeeeet my dearest zairi can be on msn? he changed his nick like mine! oh i love him la!

yay! demolition lovers(((((((: haha you are so love la zai!

Did not went to school. So now, I'm gonna studystudystudy. Chaao!

2006-08-09T14:58:00.000+08:00

I'm lazy to blog.
I'm sick.
and I'm going wild.
well, i almost fainted in the bus.
hoho.

im not being myself if you want to know.
so sorry. that if you think i'm a boring person.
but let me tell you this. i'm not.
and yes, i was dreadfully sick.
so hope you understand.

zairi, you better be!

chalet

2006-08-06T18:26:00.000+08:00

hmm, what can i say about the chalet? firstly, it's suppose to be fun. but there were problems. and gosh, farah your father can be irritating. oh wells, yesterday did alot of walking. front and back. saket sak. anyways, let the pictures do the talking yeahs?

okeh bes. I chatted with Hafiz Victoria, man, I am so crappy. Haha, kehsian sey, he tukang layan. but oh wells. It was fun. And zairi, i've got nothing to say. You left me speechless, you stole my heart away. And to you, if you still gonna go with your childish acts and say things bad about emo and stuff, haha. you got to be kidding. you are such a lame-o. how can you be punk when everyday, you dress like a MCR wannabe. Lawak la, joke of the CENTURY(:

bodoh!

2006-08-03T19:31:00.000+08:00

Hello again. I seriously have no mood at all. Hmm, school? Was rather pathetic sey. Got assembly and this american guy named KYLE(: soo.. hot! Haha, I shared him with Suhailah lols! After school supposed to go Oral. But had to finish up Project Work. In the lab, had some fun throwing paper with Khairul. Sial lah, so hyper man. Haha, Suhailah Zen Micro Photo drop. What tragedy. After that, there's this drama that I don't wanna blog about. I mean it is simply useless uh to blog about it. Later someone took it to heart and later start shooting back.

Tasha requested me to post about this. Do punks dress like MCR? Exactly not. MCR is not 100% punk. It is an alternative pop/rock and punk-pop music. I repeat. AN ALTERNATIVE. Not 100% punk. So, if you dress like one, you are considered not a PUNK. Plus, all my friends who have better knowledge than you (and I'm not saying I have) told me, "Eh, look at that MCR wannabe." And you know what I said, "Haha, that's my ex." And they said, "Serious? You must be joking. " So what can I say? We don't dress like minahs for your information. I don't think you even know how a minah look like apart from A NORMAL PERSON. You even got the word PUNK wrong. Okay, here is what I got from the dictionary, and besides, dictionary states ONLY AND NOTHING BUT THE FACTS : click here for more.

A young person, especially a member of a rebellious counterculture group.

That means, you are just a rebel. That doesn't mean you have to DETEST other type of counterCULTURE. And in other words, you don't have to hate EMO/METAL/INDIE/POP/URBAN/RNB/REGGAE kind of people. So what if you hate the music? Must you hate the people? OH GROW UP LA. This game of "Taknak friend kau" is fuckingly so boring and sooo.. childish. I like emo, so what? That doesn't mean I hate punk. And get this right, I DID NOT ASK YOU TO BE EMO. I never fuckingly did. So shut up. You PEA BRAIN. You can't understand simple english, you cant understand people and you can't understand YOURSELF. Oh what a pity, you cheap ass fucker.

"i mean ur emo punks gotnth to do with emo..we are hardcore and street not sum emoshits so next tym b4 u go arnd tellinsum1 u r a emopunk think a gain..jus tell him ur awhining boy hu wears nail polish and eyeliner."

Haha! First he said he was a punk and now what? ".....We are hardcore and street.." Sheer stupidity.

Another thing, STOP THIS PRINCESS GAMES LA. You are not even from a loyal family so shut up. So what if Suhailah is one and I am too? Must you ACT like one? Stop it eh? Games you play seriously? They are still games. Haish, sorry to say this, this is not a game, this is reality. LIFE.

And oh, did I ever say this? I prefer my mother nagging at me rather than MY FATHER. Haha, joke of the year, but oh well, I love DADDY. Hehehs, the problem is, he never will understand me. And is he trying? NO. I hate it when people are not keen to even try.

And.. "EH MALU UH.." I'm fucking bored of that. You dared to show how ARROGANT YOU ARE but you actually afraid to even do anything simple? I guess you better sty at home and play barbie dolls eh?

So now suhailah, you finally know how it feels right? Yes, my I felt even worse. Love you!

taking it slow

2006-08-01T19:47:00.000+08:00

Hmm, yes I understand you hate me. But it's all because of just little misunderstanding. I mean, you seemed to not understand why I break up with you. Well here's why. You think I THAT stupid? That you like another girl? You said I flirt, you also what? Don't you know that I tried my best to even stop contacting with guys. I mean if you are reffering to my "E" clique, HELLO? they are like my friends. And I'm part of them.. At least understand uh.. Like you told me you are a "PUNK" and you don't hang out with "EMO" people like my "E" clique, then why should I bring you? Besides, to me you are not a punk. To me you are just another guy, which i end up stupidly loving you. But whoa, good thing I break up with you. There are much more reasons I break up with you. I told you but you forgotten about it and now you are blaming me. THAT I USING YOU. Like what? Your money? HA-HA. Blanje sikit tak boleh. Like what a toy? Did I force you to do anything? NO RIGHT? Ishkkk.. To fall in love, it doesn't matter what kind of CONCEPT you are into. & to get your facts right, you dont even understand EVERY EACH CONCEPT so don't anyhow shoot. You know what, you are the only person I hate. The worst ex I ever had. The worst bf I ever had. You don't even know me THAT well, and you already making remarks about me. And you think that you KNEW ME. HAHA! Joke of the year sial. And oh, we hate you. I gave you chances and you blew it off. Okay then. Plus, I did not force you to be emo. And I don't call myself one. Just because I'm into emocore songs, doesn't make me one. But unless ofcourse, people say so, then that's what people think uh. And besides, be yourself la. Just because you're into punk, that doesn't mean you have to look, act, be one. That's my message for you to CHANGE. Not change into emo. JUST BE YOURSELF.

And you, want me to grow up? Who is the little kiddo here? No props? well hello, i just got the info. and you expect me to bring tmr. Plus it's not that easy to get them. Unless you think it is, then go get uh! save my feelings? So what did you do to save my feelings? No one ever save my feelings. I always save myself. And now you are telling me to grow up? Who's the one who didn't talk to me? I talked to you that day and you said not to irritate you. So fine, I won't. You said you will change, since like last year.. you did change. but not like what we expected.

Have been jogging for like, 3 days already and I'm liking it! Go suhailah! Haha. I love her spirit! So enduring!! Hehehee.. Tasha must try your best eh? HAHA. Love you two! lols! the pictures :

Sit up anyone?
Lols, my face like cat.
Don't see!

GOGOGO!

WHOA!
that's how fast suhailah can be(:
Where am I?
in front of miss suhaeler!

Hmmmm, I'm taking things slowly. I shall not take revenge because that's not me. If I do, it must be the sweetest ever. And so far, this year 2 sweeetest revenge ever. 1 planed and the other, well it just happen by itself. HAHA! I'm trying to be nice here. Take me for granted, take your life and soul for granted as well.

` oh look who's talking? KIDDO!

mp3

2006-07-29T11:14:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I will now not give a damn about what people say. I have too much of this. If you are not happy of what I'm doing, shut up. Don't shoot those words at me just trying to hurt me. Besides, just look into my eyes, I'm trying hard. Really hard.

Secondly, I can't be so self-centered. Yes, I know. But give me a break. If I have to takecare of your feelings, then can't you take care of mine? And if you can't give a damn about my feelings, then let me. Hey, I'm not gonna let my feelings flow out of my heart and going of different directions.

Thirdly, you people just don't know what kind of pressure I'm under. With almost the whole world to carry and with this 2 skinny legs I have. How possibly can I stand?! You might see me, I'm happy. But, don't you know, whenever I smile, I have to hold on to the pain inside? Yes, put away feelings over work. But I'm not that robot. I'm never a robot. I am someone with feelings and I can feel others. Just that when I don't feel you or understand you, I just cannot stand the fact that you are not letting me have my way.

So lastly, if you think that I'm being a bitch with some attitude problem, ask yourself this. Why is Fatin like that. And if you are looking for the answer, you are at the right place. I don't go around telling people how stressed I am if you ask me face to face. Unless of course you are Suhailah, or a special person like Zai? Maybe. And oh, Tasha you are included to.

If you know that it is unfair that I share my problems to you. Here's why. You need alot of patience and you have to be the one who is wearing the same shoe. Either of these 2. Even if you are one of it, and I still don't share you my problems. It's because I can't be fucked about whatyou are going to tell me. And all I know that whatever you tell me are just plain useless. So whoever thinks that I'm treating someone wayyyy better than how I should be treating you. Get this fact right. Neither do you treated me like expected. So, don't complain. Shut your mouth. And get some chlorine to clear that childish brain of yours.

PS* Different paragraphs, different people.

Alright, at last after typing out my feelings, I felt rather more relaxed. Sometimes, diary really help. Haha. And in this case. Blogs. Oh well. Lemme see, today's plans are plain plain boring. Going to study all day. So anyone who wants to get in touch, call me or just send me sms. I won't be online because there are just some irritating people trying to give me that "Hello, what are you doing." or "Hi, ngah uat aper?" Ishk, is that the only questions people nowadays ask?! That question seemed a killer to me. Hahah.

My Zen NEEON is all screwd up. And I am so MUSIC-LESS. But not to worry, I asked Dad if he can get me a new one. And he said yes, since because he knows that I don't want to upset brother. Haha! Okehs, my future MP3 hehe. It is Zen Vision: M. I'm getting the black one btw.

Remember the Panda Advertisment?
Yup, it's this one.
I'm buying Suhailah! HAHA!

It cost $500 so yeap. Hahah. Hmmm.. Goodbye Zen Neeon, hello ZEN VISION:M! Hahah! Yes, I'm looing foward to this. And oh what tragedy my Zen Neeon has. Getting crushed in the wasing machine is sooo.. SWAY. Haha, oh wells, what is over, is overrr.

Did I mention that my baby cousin looked so cute especially with that "kemek" nose haha!! Like mine uh, okeh most of my family have those kind of nose. Except in my case, I have a batang(: Hehe okehs, the pictures.

Guess what I did.
I pinched her nose.
And made her cry..
HEHEH.
& oh, my auntie said,
"Aper jadi ngan paul twohill? Jadi Rahimah Rahim?"
Haha, another compliment of my hair.
Thanks.

And oh, she's a girl.
Looked like boy kn?
That's why all of use call her..
"Tomblock" jawa word?

Eh you! Go back to sleep! Haha!
Her name is..
Herfina Umairah bte Huzaini.

Oh yes, Zairi sent me a nicer version of my name carved on his hand. Haha, and me? Writing his name on my graph paper in Maths class. I think Tasha saw me writing it. Haha, here they aree..

Argh! That watch! Haha, that magic(:

HAW-HAW!

So how am I gonna end this post of today?! Haahaha, no goodbyes. Just come for more. Argh.. I want to go shopping.. No money! Oh well, cant wait for TOKYO DRIFT.

Was browsing through, and I love this pic.
I love the pose, the hair & the way I drink! HAHA!
So.. bunny-fied.

---

Bila rindu ini masih milikmu
Kuhadirkan sebuah tanya untukmu
Harus berapa lama aku menunggumu

PS*Indon jiwang NOT malay.
& I dont listen to malay.
Just indon(:

zaiiii

2006-07-28T18:04:00.000+08:00

Well hello(: As for now, I'll be using this skin for just temporary or maybe for quite a long time since the skin I just made was screwed up. Haha. Anyways, I didn't go for training again, and I can see that even the teacher's gave up calling me. Haish, can't they at least understand a bit of what's going on in my house and that there are things they should not know. Well I think Suhailah knows la. I thik so only la. Hahaha.

Oh well, I've never been so happy before. Especially in my love story. This is the happiest. Man! I am likeee so happy laa! But I'm not saying that my other love story was boring and saddening. It's just the same happy. But I'm happy la. So Azhari, don't get too upset about this. Everything seemed to be your fault but I know you are trying hard. So yeah, good friends okays?

Anyways, let's talk. Yesterday, before bed I talked to Zairi(: Hehhes, slept early because he had soccer match the next day. And oh, he sent me this pic. The pic that he wrote my nickname on. As you all know, my nicks are x-tacy, x-heroine and x-buttercup. Haha.

Thanks syg(:

And oh, I send him mine. Well, not gonna show you(: Hehe, it's for him to know and for you to shut. Okeh what am I saying again? Oh well, next day woke up. Finished off the 5 stations. Next week 2.4km run. I doubt I'm acing it. That's why tmr morning, I'm gonna jog. Hahah. Hmm, so had DNT and kept talking about Hani's hot topic. Hahah. Hmmm, and.. then had MT, listen to Cikgu's story of her life. Best tau, hahah. And me? Just too hyper. Kept disturbing Hani macam budak monyet. Seriously uh. Rabak. And oh.. I'm pissed with her not you Suhailah, so thanks for the pujok. Hehhe, yeah sucha poser. Haha.

[edit] poser poser, everyday you try to get attention, everyday i hate you [/edit]

Dear Zairi, I love you.

fuckfuckfcuk

2006-07-27T14:45:00.000+08:00

Yay! At lst, new skin. Hehhs. Sorry for not blogging and all. I was so busy with fcuked up school and family. And finally, I took a day off from school, with another freak fever and the neck pain just to finish up. Haha. Anwways, alot of things happen. And, I'm not sure where to start. And oh wait, I forgot a few. Haha. Oh well, let's follow by date.

Last Saturday, it was Adila birthday party at Arab Street. Hahah. Hmm, not much to say, but I did have fun taking pictures(: Hahha. And I bought Suhail's long last bday present. A wallet. -.-"

Yeah, let the pictures do the talking. Haha. Went home, someone asked for my number online. Hehe. Okehs then, I had a nice nice sweet lovely chat with Zairi(: Aww, he is so sweet. Can't you see, that I've waited for you almost for a year or so? It's so sweet of you to crave my nick on your hand. Hehe.

On Sunday, went to finish up history project. And it was a success. All Tasha did was playing House of the dead. Suhailah, watch television and me? The script. Haha. Okehs. Before that, I chased Tasha in front of the mats. Haha.

Monday, did the presentation. And it went off pretty well. Haha. Thank god(: And I got attacked on the floor. The hungry war victims ate me. Haha! Went home, got Dad lunch. Helped dad out. And do the chores. And now my hands are dry, for too much washing.

Tuesday, I'm not sure where I go. Maybe at home again? Because dad wants me to accompany him since he's all alone with his fractured shoulder. And damn, $60 from insurance. Pathetic siak!

Wednesday, went out with Tasha before tuition. This ITE guy asked for my number. His looks? Urm.. ntah eh.. not really that what most girls want uh. But for me, I don't really go for the look. I go more to attitude and the way you dress, and the way you gonna treat me. He said he's gonna pick me up after tuition and I just let go of the offer. Before tuition, I went to get fries with Zamir. All his friends said, "Your girl eh? **m*u seh.." I was alreay blushing.. Okeh.. more to kembang!

Today, my MP3 ZEN NEEON crushed in the washing machine. FUCK SAH. I mean.. I love that mp3 okeh. And plus, it's the best gift i ever got from my lovely, favourited brother! Sheeeeshh!

HOW I WISH I CAN TURN BACK TIME!

I LOVE YOU ZZZ!

2006-07-22T09:27:00.000+08:00

I am on a mini hiatus.

Trying to catch up with school work and stuffs.

Stay tuned, new skin coming up(:

2006-07-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

dad accident
having fever
broke up with az
that pizza hut tragedy
shopped with tasha salt
shopped for hari raya kurung (the fabric/kain)
in need of my own ATM card
more money
need mummy
want zairi?

You didn't even bother to run for me.
This, I hate you.

BAYBEATS

2006-07-16T08:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, BAYBEATS was fun! Obviously, I didn't mosh. But the guys did. Haha! Lucky got Yahya to accompany me. And if not, I'm so deaddd. Ohkay, yesterday before baybeats actually wanted to go to the Bugis gig. Which Suicidal was going to perform but, i couldn't damn fine the place. Gas Haus? at Middle Road. But it's okay la, atleast I reserved the highcut shoe I always wanted. HAHA!! And now, I can like.. WEAR SKIRTS! yippeee. Hahah.

Let's start from the beginning. Went out watch PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN. I rate it 5 stars Hahah! Damn it was nice. Hahah. And oh, JOHNY DEPP WAS EATEN BY THE SEA MONSTER! HAHAHAHA. SORRY SUHAILAH! ORLANDO BLOOM HAPPY ENDING!

After movie, head to Bugis and ate. And then.. YADAYADA HAPPEN. Moodswings all over. Sheeeesh. Damn, i think this should be the last of me. Zach called me to go baybeats. So i go. W/O azZ. Because I dont want to bring him because I know what will happen if I do. But still, even if I didn't, he go. But heck la. I go with my E clique and Tasha. Then met Norman fat ass. Hahah there. And I asked him to get me the stickers and damn, not sure he did anot. hahah! lols.

Then Tasha had to go LPS and I enjoyed the show and stuff. Made lotsa friends like Quraisha and another one I forgot her name oops. Met the famous Fai-rus and friends. anddd.. damn aidil did not go. tsk tsk. mesti malas tau. hahah! and YAHYA(: hahha. the one friendly gentleman who lead me the way and damn i felt like a real lady(: hahah!

Before we enter the arena, we sat down at the Chillout stage. And then.. we shared drinks. Siak jer. tak tau nak beli but main minum air orang. haha. Then as you knw, I like to bite the straws, Zach complain. "Why you bite the straw?" Hahaha.

When Amir, Zach and Fai went to mosh or whatever, he stand by me hehehs. Goody(: Love Love!.. He is better than someone I know. there was once, okay not once, more than once. the security caught a guy who was moshing too hard and they were on our way, and Yahya put his hands around me hahah! now that's what i mean by protecting. andddd.. once while he was getting caried away i pulled his shoulders with both my hands too hard. hahah! Soorrrryy.. but i did made a good friend(: And my foot kene stomped on. -.-"

Fai was like so siak seh, after they mosh or smthing like that, they perspire and he said to me "Mandi hujan uh, asal tak ikut" then he spirnkle his sweat on me. hahah! Siak sah.. takper takper. i get my revenge soon. Then saw AzZ, Yahya asked me somthing. He MADE me laugh!!! Hahah.

Funny sah, Fai and Zach smoked. And they were all strawberry flavoured cigarrettes. Haha. I love to see the box. Hahah! Pictures were taken but it wasn't with me. Waiting for Quraisha to send me the pics. haha. SAW MR SAIFUL! Again with his gf. Hahah..

All in all, went home with Zach, and then.. urms.. Dad scolded me. Kene lecture. then sleep. hahah! Okay la I wanna study and do homework. Cheeeerrs!!

*PS; check out this photo's at baybeats here hehe.

sungei buloh

2006-07-15T09:37:00.000+08:00

Hello hello(: Sorry for not updating. Schedule was darn tight and getting tighter. Haha. Anyways, on Thursday went to Sungei Buloh as a Science trip thingy. Anyways, picutres were taken and damn! It was fun fun fun fun! Here's what. Kept shouting as I see worms and catipillars on somone's back. And Ewwww Ewwww, everywhere. The best part was when Me and Suhailah screamed while taking pictures of squirrel and then a lizard fell, i was like.. WTF?! Haha, then went home, I slept on Nadya's cushion shoulders and, Wensiong almost slept at MY shoulder. ARGH, hahah! Here are the pictures.

argh, menyampah sak muker aku.

Look at me! I'm specky! Click pic for better view.

argh, the breeze..

Thinking of what it seems,
the things we want,
but yet don't get.

And this little squirrel came to me,
letting me take its photo,
how sweet is that?!?!

Ohkay so, the end. Now, you see.. today, going to baybeats. My father damn getting on to my nerves, i told him, that i going to be home late and he said ok. Then before going to work, he fuckingly said that I must be at home by fucking 3. Fuck Fuck! What the fuck is that fucking fuck suppose to be. Ooops sorry, I'm too angry so let me avenge my anger here.

Damn to that fucking poser.

fuck stress

2006-07-12T13:10:00.000+08:00

Seriously, you guys should understand how it feels to be so distrusted and disbelieved. It's even worst than losing your boyfriend. I'm so stressed up yesterday. And because of that, I got sick today -.-" I just took my temperature and it was 39ºC. Okay, here are all the drama yesterday.

Went to school, again someone putting up such drama. Went back home to get changed to do project again and again and fuck it doesn't end. Was labled so low classly. Okay actually I had nothing to wear and besides, it was just near home, and what you guys expect me to wear so fancy? Argh heck. Farah and her cacat jokes. Laughed non stop. I played with this little babygirl! I made her laugh. She is oh-so CUTE LA. Met Azhari but it was all so fast lah. Haishhhh. Hmm, sister so sebok, spy on me.

Went home, did history, STRESS STRESS STRESS. Asked dad if I can skip school. And he allowed but he said all the things that AGAIN MADE ME SAD. Again, I felt distrusted. First, about that fucking spammer. Second this, Third, about everything la.

5 things that I AM NOT the spammer (Like d'uh I am not):

I don't spam my own bestfriend's tag.
I love Nadya. & I don't hate her.
My laptop was with my brother and I hardly went online the past few days.
I have better things to do than spam.
I have better things to think of than to spam.

And to Nadya's cousin (HAZIQ).
I did not say I'm pretty, neither do I try to be one. I always tell everyone right, that i am the ugliest person you all have met. And like duh, everyone wants to be beautiful. That is why everyone DRESS UP. Gosh, sorry nadya, but your cousin's stupid. I never do anything wrong, I got this critic. So berdose la ngkau. Aper kau buat, bukan aku nyer pasal. Aper aku buat pon, BUKAN KAU NYER PASAL.

And after all, it's a good thing I never go to school. I'm sick. HURRAY.
* Gosh suhailah just love to put my crappy face at her blog. STOP IT LAAA.

Was browsing and I got this!

I remember how happy I was to spend my time with Aisah. Aiyah, we are always happy. Laughed like no one's business. Like d'uh. It's always about us. One thing I learnt about relatives. Never avoid them. Because, you might not know how fun it is to be CRAP CRAP CRAP. Gosh! can't wait to meet you again!

And oh, To suhailah, Thanks for yesterday. I hope you really understand how it feels to have both parties not supporting you. And yes it is hard for me not to have a mother. So spare me some of your feelings. Because all this while, with you hating me, was like as if I lost another loved one. And I dont wish that to happen. Yet again. Get this in mind, I have no intention for you to feel hated or angry. It was just my mistakes. * if my hair was that short, laa jugak eh. HAHAA! Sorry eh, prasaan again. KEKE (>.<)!!

why the fuck sah.

2006-07-11T21:04:00.000+08:00

EVERYONE HATES YOU.

Remember that the friends you ARE having right now, are those you TOOK ADVANTAGE OF. So what lessons you learned? Nothing. Haha, I though you knew. No, you did not. Thinking I begging you forgiveness? Dream on la. Go to one corrupted "princess" land of yours. You have caused all this to us, so don't blame me. I treat you as my good friend ONCE but you treat me like one bitch stealing your boyfriend. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. IT IS YOURS. Think I'm finding fault? Of course I should. For the things that is happening, people are questioning me. Why don't they question you.

EVERYONE DISTRUST ME.

Firstly, I am not that spammer. Second, I have not been using comp much, because my laptop's with my brother. Third, I'm busy with family problems. Fourth, im fucked up with school. Trying to get things ALL DONE AT THE SAME TIME IS NO FUCKING JOKE. And now what..?

Fuck you la bitch.

What I think about you..

You have a mental problem.
You have one fucking attitude.
You are total bitch. 100% Tak kalah.
You are really one freak paranoid.
I hate the way you look, it's not because that i am a girl but because i cant imagine that dirty heart and that poisoned brain was inside a beautiful lady. aww too bad. all spoiled.

SEE GUYS, ONE FUCKED UP EGO AGAIN.

what the fuck sah?

2006-07-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

Alright hello you all! Damn I'm tired! I think after blogging this post, I'm going to sleep. Haha. AND OH! Skin of the day! (for my previous skin, thankyou!)

Anyways, school was a dread. Haha. Went to school and i saw SUTRA(: Hmm.. but no, I'm not into you anymore, but yeah, you are still the hottaye in my school (^-^) HAHA. My number 1 crush okayaye.

Alright then, Me, Suhail and Nadyo Rodyo, assembled and MAAAN, I was sweating like hell. Okaye, had no PE todaye, and so went for recess. The usuals, after that had DNT and I finally drilled a hole into my workpiece. I overcomed my fear of using that big fat giant drilling machine! Haha! Then had MT, went home, took money, went to buy shoe and toe rings. Suhailah said she hate helping me buy shoe for me, because I was cerewet. HAHA. Thank you. To be a good shopper, you must be cerewet so that the things you buy are the best of the best that you have been looking at. HAHA, I learnt that from (amazingly, he is a guy) MY BROTHER. I mean the only thing he advised me was that, look for things that are similar and cheaper and hopefully better, which simply means going to shop to shop and going back to shop that sells the stuff that seemed the best for you. HAHA. And from there, I became a good shopper I guess?

Met Tasha. Suhailah and Nadya went home already. So.. me and Tasha went to eat @ Food Culture. THEN SOMETHING THAT MADE ME LOST MY APPETITE:

Girl: Urm kakak, boleh tanyer sikit boleh tak?
(She was talking to me but I thought she was looking at Tasha, so, i wasn't listening uh.)

Me: (Tasha called me and told me she was asking me a question) *I said nothing and stared*

Girl: Kakak nyer umur braper?

Me: *Stared back again* (I'm shock ohkay!)

Girl: Ohkay sec braper?

Me: *Gave her the peace sign = sec 2?*

Girl: (Her friends all looked at me and then they were like. "Ehhhhh.." or whatever?) Oh, abang kat situ nak minta nombor. (sadly, because I am 14, he give up asking my number)

Me: *LOST APETITE LOOK* oh okeh and i smiled.

That guy freaking look like Hilmi. And i was likeee "EWWWWW.." I mean, kalau handsome takper la. Do you think that with that kind of look like yours, I will accept you or even give you my number? Gosh, I'm not easy to get. Not that cheap. Damn you made me lost my appetite. Haha. After the went back, I went to buy my food. Got alot of cute guys uh. Then some when I was talking to Tasha, they look at me and I look at them. And yadeedada. Hehe. KIYOOOOT la. HAHA, Tasha also told me, "Eh Nurul, jangan bagi numbor kau. Azhari kau lagi handsome la siah.." Hmm.. TRUE TRUE.

Next scenario, went to MAC to buy my dad's burger. Then went out. Group of.. abang-abang stared at me and Tasha (sure they were looking at Tasha tau) Hahah. Hmm.. Then went back take bus la. Bus 65. Tasha took Bus 10. In the bus, got this guy, poly guy I think? Wanted to go up (as it was a double deckerbus but he saw me and changed his mind to sit BESIDE ME) Okeh. So, he was kinda cute so I keep my cool. Then there was a little gap beside me that seperates me and him in the seat. Tragically, he put his hand in the gap. Hahah. Gosh. Hahah. He saw my mp3 and kept looking at my handphone wallpaper (my vectored face) haha. He looked at the wallpaper and looked at me and again and again. So I smiled. So he asked for my age. And I said urm.. 14? So he said, oh.. if you are 16, I would like to take your number. Then I said. Hmm.. Hahah. Okeh. So I smiled back and I went to alight the bus.

GOSH. Why does everyone think I am 16? Haha okeh jugak. But what is more worst when the taxi driver asked me "EH YOU VOTE FOR WHO ARRR?!" Okay, one think I like when ppl think I am older than what I really am is that I look mature abit. But at the second thought, I look old. Tsk tsk. hahah!

Okeh heck, I wanna sleep now. AND OH, I LOVE MY NEW SHOES AND TOE RINGS(:

Finallllyyy

2006-07-06T12:47:00.000+08:00

Yay! Finally I've got a new skin. Hahaha. You see, I haven't been blogging ever since because I was trying to figure out how should I change my skin. I made alot alot of skins but I'm not satisfied with them until I got this. Hahah. So yeah, I kinda find this a little palin though but, I like it. Yups. I've been very busy lately, I still have quite alot of projects to do. And I kinda have alot of family matters to give attention to.

Firstly let's talk about what happened to me these past few days. On monday was Youth day, planned to go out, but it was all cancelled. Then on Tuesday, Suhailah was sick so she did not go to school on that day, kinda crapped alot with Nadya, with don't know what things I also dont know. Then Nadya sort of got "molested" my our dear Nepalese friend Sakil. Hahah, actually he was sitting too close to Nadya and she felt uneasy. Haha.

On Wednesday, which was yesterday, I had training and played WA. It has been a long time I played that position. And now all of my body ached. Haha. So today, I did not went to school, I had stomach cramp. I think it was what I ate last night. Or did I not eat? Hahah. STM. Sorry.

I'm pissed of with this person attitude on the phone. Haish, I would rather talk to the E clique and what the fuck I made a mistake again. BMS! Hahah learnt that from Zaaachh. Lols.

And you guys, I don't think I can go escape. I have an important family matters to attend to. Basically, you see, you have to understand this. I don't have a mum anymore, so I have to contribute to the family by myself. And my aunties are helping me. So on saturday, I'm going to Johor with her, to get the Hari Raya plans done. And I know, I've always been a spoiler (like I spoil events) but I guess you guys go without me okeh? And ohh.. whatever happens, I don't care. I mean if HE falls for anyone of you, go ahead. Because it seems I'm getting sick of relationships. And I better of have my childish funs now. I think relationships? Maybe about when I'm 16 or 17? And i'm 14, toooooo young. Like YOU SAID. But as for now, I'll just go with the flow.

I'm sick and I want to enjoy my life.

I just wanna be happy, but I don't know where to start.

big haish.

2006-07-03T11:34:00.000+08:00

HAISH. Now that Brazil and England's out, I support France and Portugal. But what the f Brazil could have won if only they played better. Sheesh. And that disappointing act from Rooney and C.Ronaldo. I heard from the news that C.Ronaldo told Rooney that he will send him off. He did. But maybe in a different perspect. When C.Ronaldo complained to the Ref. that it should be a foul, Rooney over-reacted and pushed C.Ronaldo. Then Rooney got a red card. Sheesh. And what's up with the wink C.Ronaldo gave? Double sheeesh.

Basically as you can see. I am pissed off and disappointed with England and Brazil. But I have more hopes on Brazil ler. BOTH of them didn't perform well. ISHK. Now it's up to France. Hahaha. Hope they don't disappoint me again.

I can't go out with the E-guys. Cause basically, my uncle-in-law passed away. And my cousins' coming over to my house. So, I'm sorry you guys. I'M SUCH A SPOILER. Especially Amir, maybe you should bring HER. Though I have bad feelings towards her. And I'm starting to have bad feeling towards you. So.. yep. Once again SORRY.

My private blog has been put up. Only 2 person know about it. It's _______ and me ofcourse. And yeah, there's alot of vulgarities also. So.. Sorry yups? If you want to know, I think I might consider about it. But considering the fact that my bitch* will have 60% chance to get the url of my private blog. Hahah.

I HAVE MYSPACE! Wheee. Hahah. Though it's kinda plain. But I like it. Haha. So whoever out there got myspace, ADD ME! And it seems that my livejournal is rotting. Oh well, I shall revive it with.. Hmm.. Don't know. Hahah.

Cynthia, the lovely host of babii-doll.org asked me if I still wanna get hosted. Oh yes I want to. But maybe not at this time, since I've been so busy with schoolwork and *toot* CCA. SHEESH.

Thinking about domains, I'll be getting one of my own. Nyehahaha. If I did my exams well enough and the results hopefully will satisfy Kak Shifa, who will help me do the payment (but ofcourse, I have to pay her back). Hahah. Hopefully she'll be my sister-in-law so that she could help me do the payment as long as I am living up to online stuff. Hahaha .

I'm hoping to get my own digital camera next year, and I can start builiding my new dream. Digital Photography. And whatever else to do with Photography. Eversince I've been visiting deviantart.com I just wanted to learn more about Art and Photography. Argh.. That will so be my dream. Hahah. But to earn more, I think I shall teach students Digital Photography in Polytechnics or something? Hahaha. Okay, what a future. But as for now, I must just excel in everything and from that success, I branch out easier (^-^)

I'll buck up. I sure will. Don't you worry, You'll see.

And if don't, I'm just a disgrace to will.

*And oh, to view myspace, you got to have one.
Here's my link:

www.myspace.com/magics_inthe_makeup

CHEERS*

SORRY

2006-07-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, sorry for not blogging for like a few days? Hahah. Sorry. So many things happen. I've been busy ever since school started. With last minute projects and everything. Not to mention we had fun @ my house hahha. Okay here are the pics.

Our footprints outside my house.

Tasha baik ehh.. tolong fatin kemas rumah.

TASHA! MANTAIN MUKER KAU!

MY VITAGEN ABES!!

So there you go. The fun we had. With TEPONG. Tsk Tsk. Hahaha. Okeh.. hmm..
I've been having nice memoriable love talk with my lovely Azhari. Hahaha.

So.. please. If I'm the cause of everything for you sadness girl. I'm really sorry. Sometimes, it's better to make it clear, then just to let me figure it out. So, if you want me to taste karma, it's okay with me. I'm sorry. Really. Don't take my words, then i dont know what else. This is so like a tragic ending. It continues like a pathetic drama. SORRY.

Is it me? Because it seems harder to understand the letter "E".

2006-06-29T20:59:00.000+08:00

Sorry you guys. I'm very busy at the momment. I'll link you guys up during the weekends yeah? I've been catching up with homework, projects and subjects i'm weak in. So yeah. I know this blog's getting boring. BUT. it shall not okeh. Takecare.

and oh.. e-mo clique..? i shall not say that. clique 5 hahahah.

last day

2006-06-27T18:26:00.000+08:00

Hello you guys.. Sorry for not updating yeah? Anyways, quite a lot of cool stuff happened. Hmm, On Sunday, I went out with Aidil, Amir, Suhailah, Nadya and Zach. But Suhailah and Nadya, went off first. So left me, Aidil, Amir and Zach. Hahah.

First I went to Mac and did some of our homework. Then went to popular to buy camera. Then, met Amir at Tampines MRT platform. Then talk talk talk to Amir, meet Aidil at Bugis Fountain. Hahah. Then went to eat at Banquet. Amir blanjer me (^-^) Hahah Fish and Chips LARGE. Then they all stare at me, then the Mak Cik seh, WAH.. badan kecik perut besar. Then we laughed. I just smiled. LOLS. Hahha. Then Suhailah and Nadya went home.

Me, Amir and Aidil then went to meet Zach at Bugis Street. They went to buy bag. Then, walk walk walk. Then decided to go to Plaza Singapura. Then they decided to WALK TO TOWN. I was like what the fuck? Hahah. Okay. If I faint nevermind. Then while walking, I was about to faint. Then Amir offered to carry me. Then I said no uh. Cause, I will only let Azhari carry me. Hahah!! Right AzZ? Heheh. Then went to Plaza Singapure saw Daphne and her band. I took a pic of her with Aidil's cam, but I mistakeably deleted it. Tsk tsk!

Went to Bugis and then I took Irda's tee. Hahha. Then we had drinks and went home. My dad's calling me. So I had to. Then went home took MRT. Aidil drop off first. Then left me and Amir. He kept making me laugh. And I couldn't stop uh siah. Then I went home. Haha.

I received a msg from AzZ and said that he saw me going out with other guys. And he thought that I like them but nahh.. He always think I flirt with alot of guys. Yeah true, but it was last time. Now I'm taken.. I've no time to. I JUST LAYAN. Okeh? Urm.. But yeah.. sometimes I do feel happy. Like Zai said about demolition lovers. Hahah.. Really made my day ALOT. Okeh the end.

The next went to school. TASHA never come. Wtf, I was like dead of boredom. Many people cut their hair. Hahah. Bastard uh that teacher.. here's what she said:

Miss Fee: You 2 girls (me and Suhailah) need to have a haircut haaa..
Me and Su: (Smiling was about to laugh)
Miss Fee: (Looking at Suhailah) Party is Over. (Looking at me) This is not Singapore Idol.

Then she walk off. WE CAN'T CUT OUR HAIR because WE JUST DID. Hahah.
She then look at Farah talking about EYELINERS. She told Mr lim and then Mr Lim, out of the blue, pointed at me and said "NURULLL" I was like.. "CHER!! It was yesterday's one" Ahhaha.

Went to class, Hani rebonded her hair. Alot of people cut their hair. Hahha. Cool.

Then today, I didn't go school. I had an headache in the morning. Then I went to meet Emotic Q and did our project. Hahha. Before that, a stray dog followed me. CUTE SAH. Hahah. Then went home uh. Okeh uh.. I'm getting tired. LOL. Here are the pictures. Sket jer.

Doinh homework(:

Fatin & Suhale

Aidil&amir

Fatin & Amir.

-------

THE END!

Dearest Suhailah..

2006-06-24T14:06:00.000+08:00

&. suhailah /? http://9feet-below.blogspot.com &it was, once says:
if you think im taking a revenge on you, im sorry.
if i make you jealous or anything, im sorry.
if you think im unfair to you than others, im sorry.
if you think i take advantage of your friendship, im sorry.
& if you think im too ego for you, im sorry.
im sorry, im sorry &IM SORRY.

-----

Well girl, I'll always forgive you. I don't care if you are too ego for me. But I really hope you realise sometimes, being too ego isn't worth it. Instead of being ego, you can be generous and kind and everything else will work fine. I have to admit, I make my own mistakes too. I made you angry, I made your day like living hell and etc. I did say sorry, I did apologised. But it all turned out to be such a waste, because you won't accept them. I don't know what to do. Because it made me feel guilty and tell me who the fuck really wants to be guilty all their life? That's why. Sometimes apologising really showed people you moved on and ready to begin a new happy chapter of life or whatever. Unless all you think is of yourself and that's what you call ego. Many people complained about your attitude. You really have one kick ass attitude but, they did not backstab you or anything. They were shocked. They expected you to be nice and all. But no they were wrong. I know you can't expect to be nice all the time, because you are afraid that people might step you heads (pijak kepale). But oh wells, all I'm doing now is, let people pijak your kepale. Let people step you head, as long as you know what you are doing is just constant and not going worst. I'm being patient. Like you said kn, "Buat dek jer.. Diam diam dapat pahaler." Taking revenge isn't worth it. It's no fun and it seriously give you many sins. Apologising memberi pahale. So I hope, you understand what I mean uh. I dont care if you are still ego. But just at least APOLOGISE AND MOVE ON for once. Thanks I really love you. I do, as a true friend.

SHOPPING[=

2006-06-24T11:52:00.000+08:00

Well hellos(: Hahah. Yesterday, I went out with my cousin since the sudden netball training was cancelled. I went out with cousin and was waiting for the bus to go bugis and I saw Mr. Bok's car -.-" Lucky he didn't see me. Or did he? Double Oh-No! Oh wells. Was at bugis and I spent quite alot buying clothes and hipster jeans. Spent the whole afternoon there and I cut my hair @ Chapter 2!

My hairstyle? It's kinda wild though and tomboy-ish a little but.. Oh well.. I like it cause it's different. It's real short and very long at the bottom. Really wild. I think it's kinda of japanese style? Haha. Oh wells, I do miss my previous hair. Because it looked sweet if I wear the dress I bought. Argh fuck! No regrets. Shall not feel regretted and shall love it. It's spunkaye and absolutely something you won't see in school. Though it's weird, thankyou. If it looked ugly for you, HEY! WHOEVER SAID I CUT FOR YOU TO ADORE?! I just wanna try something different and that's the whole point.

Pictures? Later uh. As for now, I'll spew my story first. Ohkay, after the haircut, we went to town. MANGO GOT SALE! MANGO GOT SALE! MANGO GOT 50% OFF SALE! Haha.. Spent a total of exactly $50 bucks there. Anyways, then head to Far East Plaza to take Irda's t-shirt but I didn't bring the freaking receipt. ARGGHH! But oh well, i shopped there. Then, went home. The shopping bags killed the hell out of me. Killed my fingers and arms. Hahah.. It's aching now. But.. Typing's just the exercise of it. Okay, anyway.. Here comes the pictures!

My front view(^-^)
How I love my dimple! Hehhs.

Front side view.
Dimple-d again!

Right Side View.

Left Side View

All in all(:
DIMPLE-D again!

Like I said,
Short and Long at the bottom(:

--------

Wanna see what I've bought? Hahah, sure common sneak peak!

THE HAIR SPRAY!
Bought this at the Salon, Chapter 2!

Dress 1(: With Cardigan.

The dresses.
That means I bough 2 dress.
Ohkay the green one was a semi-dress.

2 HIPSTER JEANS!!
This is so the LOVE!

MANGO SALE!
1 semi dress,
2 casuals/basics.

1 pair of designer slippers/slipons or whatever it's called.
1 designer skeleton black and golden print.
1 black beaded bracelet.
and black long socks/stockings.
1 black and pink skinnie wallet!

My bro's electro quitar.
See me?
See the connection?
PSSST: rocker and guitar? Hahah!

Mini mini mini Rahimah rahim(:

--------

All in all,

1 cardigan
+
1 dress
+
2 semi-dress
+
3 casuals
+
1 stockings
+
1 beaded bracelet
+
1 wallet
+
2 hipster jeans
+
1 slipper
+
1 hairspray
+
1 HAIRCUT
=
$300 exactly(:

Okay toodles! Takecareee!
*Fuck school's reopening!

QUIZ QUIZ QUIZ

2006-06-23T12:10:00.000+08:00

Ohkays, so Suhailah wants me to do this quiz.. I shall do then. Haha, besides I'm bored uh.

*MAD section*
1. what do you do when you're mad?
` I'll keep quiet, frown, and curse alot silently.
` I'll blog about them, hoping at least people will understand.
` I'll complain to Mr. AzZ if not other guys like Zairi/Aidil/Alif or my besties (esp. TASHA!)

2. what's the worst thing you've done when you are mad?
` caused havoc and physically hurt myself.

3. ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
` Hmm.. No, they made me cry -L-" fucking assholes, cannot let me live happily.

4. ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?
` I guess so. But so far no. Like I said, I hurt myself.

5. do you curse when you're mad?
` Yes, silently. But usually indirectly. I'll just say "fuck! whoever you are!!"

*Crying Section*

1. last time you cried your heart out ?
` a few weeks/days ago. Never was it about a guy. It was about letter "M".

2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
` Yes, always. Okay, not always, often.

3. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
` Gosh that was like years ago. A real true friend. Now? NO. Friends hurt each other nowadays.

4. do you cry when you get an injury?
` Small injury no. But I cried when I fell on my head during training.

5. do certain songs make you cry?
` D'UH. Then why am I emo for? All emo songs uh. (My Heroine by Silverstein)

*Pain Section*.
1. what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?
` Caused alot of relationships to end. Hehe but I'm innocent!

2. how depressed can you get?
` Very? Hah.

*Happy Section*
1. how much do u smile?
` Always, infront of mirrors and cams.

2. what can make you happy?
` Crapping with the most crapiest girl, Tasha-Stale.

3. do you wish you were happier?
` D'UH. How stupid can this question get?

4. what about being with your friends, does that make u happy?
` Always, but sometimes no. They hurt each others' feelings -.-"

*Love Section*.
1. have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?
` Yes, My mum -.-"

2. did you ever love a person, and tell him/her that you love him/her?
` Yes, I love everyone. Hah.. like real.

3. have you loved someone so much, it made you cry?
` Urmm... no?

4. has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?
` Yes many heheh.

*Hate Section*
1. have you ever hated any one that broke your heart?
` D'UH! But I always forgive them. I'm not ego (^-^)

2. do you hate Bush?
Yes, another ego freak.

3. What dyou do when you hate someone?
` I don't hate people. Just hate their attitude(:

*Self-Esteem Section*
1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
` For a crappy girl? No.

2. do you believe in yourself?
` No and yes.

3. what do you say&react when people say they think you are good looking/pretty?
` i'll say "Bedek uh" Then later Suhailah will say.. "Ohkay Fatin hodoh" -.-"!!

4. are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly,dumb, and fat?
` I don't have an eating disorder. Haha so I'm NOT AN IDIOT.

5. ever wanted to kill yourself cause you thought you weren't good enough?
`NO. Why sey.. I got alot things to enjoy. Only egoist just stop me from doing so -.-"

6. are you happy with who you are?
` Yes, why should I not be?

Last 3person who you want to take the quiz?
1. Nadya Basri {BABY rasta}
2. Sarah Diyana
3. Tasha Sari {BABY stale}

INTERESTING.

2006-06-22T15:16:00.000+08:00

I shall now share what I got from a bulletin board @ friendster.com. Interesting though. And oh yeah, the bolded ones are the ones I agree of. So better read. Sometimes judging someone by the WAY(or gaya orang)he/she displays or expose herself, you can LABEL them. Here's what I got. Enjoy and reac carefully.

As taken from the BULLETIN BOARD:

You see, we live in Singapore. No doubt about that.
I have this funny thought. I can't stand it any more.
People are getting soo narrow minded.
Really, it'snot a lie it's basically a fact.
I've seen those friendster profile's here and there.
And I can't believe my eyes or head to what I'm actually see-ing.

MALAYS esp. Why? Typical reasons. Just look.
In Singapore, we have LOADS of MATS andMINAHS.
Different type of people different type of mats/minahs.
Example, MAT/MINAH tapered. MINAH tudong, MAT REP.
Well, that's obvious. In THIER (mats and minahs) profile, they put there.
"I detest/hate- Mat and Minahs." Don't belive me?
Go check it out yourself.

I'm not judging you or anything. But don't you find it funny?
I mean there are soo many MATS/MINAHS in Singapore
and they don't wanna meet one another,
then that totally MEANS, they are NO MATS AND MINAHS.
But sad to say, these fools are dumb enough to notice
that they are actually a mat and a minah. How sad is that?
Don't blame me on this. I'm just pointing my view out.

Yes, my view. A view of a 14 year old teen.
And NO, I ain't a minah. I don't wear make-up.
This and that. Blah blah. I'm a prep. Prep?
Don't know what's that? God?! Don't be dumb.
That's what I have to say. If any of you "terase" ah.
Kau punye pasal lah eh. Tak heran.

(:So people. - Piss off.
Do spread around.
-Elfira Fifiyana-

-------------------------------------------------

19 June 2006.
***Dearest Elfira Fifiyana,

Pointing out your point of view isnt wrong neither is it right.
But you know, there are minahs and mat reps;
yes i agree but its some sort of like y'know, a culture to them.
They prefer to be with people of that kind coz they feel comfortable.
Just like you and yourc liques right?! C'mon girl.
everyone needs a sense of belonging.

A feeling of being one of the "in-crowds" of yourown people.
Putting on make-up doesnt mean she's a minah.
Wearing revealing clothes doesnt mean she's a prostitute.
Smoking doesnt mean she's corrupted.
Drinking doesnt mean she's up for a one nightstand.
Clubbing doesnt mean she's wild.
Neither does wearing a G-String means she's a Hotstuff.
Oh wells, different people sees things in different light.

Above is your opinion and here is mine.
But what i dont understand is that you are so proud
to diss people publicly of their status.
It is because of people like you
that the world is being separated by cultures and interests.
Perhaps you should look around and realize.
You should repent girl.

Yours truly, Rei`na Adelina(21 June 06')//
P.s: rmbr, you're dissin' your own people. you're a malay too y'knw. =)
[hint- user name; JeNNi.
user email; loosenupmybuttons16@yahoo.com]
Hahaha. i agree with you Rei`na Adelina ((:
AndElfira Fifiyana -________-

------------------------------------------------------------

Okays, My point of view now. I don't wear too much make-up and that doesn't mean I'm a minah right? I wear revealing clothes like the one in my friendster account and that does not mean I'm a prostitute -.-" So tell me, models going around waering revealing clothes and taking photos means they are prostitutes. I was being called once about what I wear by a friend of mine and he think I'm a minah for that. Seriously.. he don't know me. My attitude ain't wild. Maybe he look at things differently than other ppl do, like there's another friend of mine that says i look gorgeous wearing that revealing kinda clothes.

Yes I know that in my religion it is not encouraged to. But I wear that OCCASIONALLY. Not everyday. But I have to agree. That MINAHS wear THICK makeup till they look like.. PFFFT. and the way they dress themselves IS OVER THE LIMIT. one thing that marks them was their ATTITUDE.

For example, I saw TWO real minahs and look at the way they speak. So uncultured. No manners. Like nobody's business. Ad the way they speak was like.. They have no face. No shame. To me.. They are not even girls. So yeah.. That's minah.

Mat rep? I don't really care much. Because all I care was EMOBOYS(: heheh.. so yeah.. takecare

------------------------------

Oh yeah tasha made this for me(: Thankyou Tasha I love you!

you are LOVE!

2006-06-22T13:06:00.000+08:00

Arghh.. It was freaking hard to contact AzZ my love. He off his hp because he said it's irritating and he wants a peaceful sleep. Like hello? At least tell me about that or something but NoOoO.. instead it made me worry like fucking hell. Asked for Faris help, well so far his help is really effective(: Hilmi? Tsktsk.. he lied to me again -.-" Haishhh.. Liar Liar, I Shall Set Your Pants On Fire. Ishk, asshole.

Ohkay, 2 person asked for my number. Hahah. And Taufiq's cousin kept calling me pretty and cute and rare. Wahh.. so flattered. But Azhari didn't think that way. He never said I'm pretty or cute. SOBS. Sedih siah.

I caught alot of posers lately. Like me having an Italian name (*Taufiq's cousin called me Isabella cause it means beautiful(: So flattered again) and ENGLISH NAME. Fine I tell you about how I got my ENGLISH NAME.

First, I followed late mum to her hospital checkup. And we were talking about doctor's name. Then all of a sudden, I asked her.. "Mummy, why my name is Nurul Fatin?" Then she said she wanted my name to be "Nurul Alis" (Another spelling of Alice). Then there was once, me and mummy met her chinese friend. And she asked what was my name. So I spelled it out to her since she can't pronounce Fatin so she kept calling me Faith. So I told my mum I had an english name of Faith Alis(: She just smiled. Haish.. I missed her laugh.. Argghh *move on fatin*

My OH-JULIET. It's my word. If you are reading this. Please uh.. Thank me atleast.

If I can kill, i'll kill all fucking wankers and posers and EGO.

but i can't; msmurder cant kill.

muster every ounce of confidence.

2006-06-21T10:38:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

For you I will

You always want what you can't have

But I've got to try

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

For you I will,

For you I will

---

So last night I couldn't get what was burning in my chest. Everytime I tried to confess or share with him, I'll break down. Because basically I'm blaming him for what he was clueless for and I didn't mean to make him feel that way. I wanted him so bad to call me. But he's giving me time. I don't want time alone! I want a shoulder to cry on, a voice to cheer up on and words that would make me feel better. Maybe I'm jumping into conclusions again. Haish, this time when he calls. I'm gonna tell him everything. I ain't gonna hide anymore things from him for that really tears me apart. And dearest Az, I'm sorry. To make you feel bad and guilty for no reason.

Yesterday... argh! just go to suhailah's blog and see what the fcuk happened. Anyway, I bought a cookie monter for myself. Fuzzy soft and so... BLUE. Hahahha. I ate alot yesterday. I'm stressed with everything. I wish my stomach blows. Hahah.

I'm so stressed, I made a skin for myself. And today I'm making another one more. I'm having body aches and I don't think I can go trainining todaye. So, so long and goodnight.

what a day?

2006-06-20T20:38:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Today went to do project. Made Tasha wait for like hours? Hahah. Hmmm.. Went out with sweet Azhari today. Hahah with Suhail and Tasha. Arghh fuck.

I have no mood to blog.

I'm in a fiery mood.

I feel unloved.

I can stand crying,

till i die.

- Yet maybe this will last just for while -

2nd post

2006-06-19T18:56:00.000+08:00

"You're Cute When You Scream"

(Fuck with my heart)
I'll teach you what it's like.
(To be so used)
That you'll have to clean.
That dirt stuck in
Your plastic finger nails.
And just the scent of you is enough
(To make me sick)

And all I know is revenge is sweet when...

You know that you are worthless
And I am better than
The games that you play princess.
(I've played) and always win.

(I'll take my time)
To slowly plot your end.
(But now I will)
Spit bullets with my pen.

And all I know is you're cute when you scream.

You know that you are worthless
And I am better than
The games that you play princess.
(I've played) and always win.

I'll take you to the top,
Of this building and just push you off.
Run down the stairs so I can see your face
As you hit the street,
the street, the street, the street.

You know that you are worthless
And I am better than
The games that you play princess.
(I've played) and always win.

(This time I win. So here's your kiss goodbye.)

*bolded words. I wish I could do them to YOU, you and YOOOUUU!

But as for YOU, I would not. I don't want because of a guy, we ended up like this. So hate me, I don't care. I won't hate you. I've been saving up money to buy you 2 things already. So now that fucker saying this uh "Dia memang tak suka kau.." So if that is the truth, I want you to say it. After all I had done. I still have the guts to save the money to buy you what you wanted. No matter how much you hate me, I'm gonna still buy you those things you asked for. If you want to play your princess games, then I shall treat you like a princess like the princess way. From there, count my sins for me.

To you, you've gone too far. You think you are so pretty is it? To walk off just like that? Take attention and all? Sheeeshhh.. The way you walk. Hahah. Lawak siah.. Macam Ostrich.

YOOOOUUUU. go and die la. My life and hers. Fuck off.

----

So enough of my anger. Being angry just give you sins. Not forgiving people give you sins. Anyway, I had training with the JUNIORS. I love them la. Hahah.. I enjoyed the training actually. Then we had chocalates after the training ended. HAHA.

If you want to know what I'm trying to do. I'm trying my best to take in whatever you done to me. Good or bad. I'll be patient. I'll be very nice. I'll be very kind. Blame me, Abuse me I'm still there for you. Because in my religion, being patient is important. What my mum advices me to do, i will do. She says to be patient. I'm about to blow. And if you knew me when I was young. I was more worse than a bitch. I will make you suffer. But I changed for the better and.. I wont take revenge. That shows how much you weren't patient.

what the fuck siah

2006-06-19T14:05:00.000+08:00

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? You fucker! I mean I seriously did not tell you to break up with her right? Fuck uh! ISHK.. Now because of you.. You ruined everything. You jumped conclusions even futhur than I do. You stupid freaking ass. I should have listened to Az. I could not fucking believe you would do such a thing! GET THIS FUCKING FACT RIGHT.

I NEVER TOLD YOU TO BREAK UP WITH SUHAILAH.

AND THANK GOD YOU ADMITTED YOU MADE UP A STORY ABOUT ME.

THEN NOW WHAT? YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE.

SHEEESHHH.. YOU'RE STUPID. YOU'RE FCUKER.

you lied and you fucking know what you did.

Ok what's up with that?! Sometimes you have to BE FUCKING CLEAR with people. It's not my problem to mistake you. You should not have confuse people. You should be clear for once.

I broke up with Taufiq. And I'm with Azhari just for in an hour. I know it feels like im a bitch. Yeah maybe if you think I am one. think deeply. I helped you alot. Whatever you do is between you and your life. I'm counting my sins. And I think you guys should too. I'm off. I'm not gonna break with Azhari. He will be my last.

To Suhailah, it's up to you to believe. It's hard to please you and hard for you to forgive people. I don't know what to do anymore. It's all up to you. They told me what they think of you. Not me. SO IT'S UP TO YOU. he lied about me. And you are believing him? Believing a liar? Look, I'm not here to make you feel bad. I will never do. You are everything to me. And now look. He spoiled it. Don't let because of a guy, our friendship is ruined. and not to mention that that guy is a stupid fcuker. Forgive me even if i did no wrong. And forgive me if i did wrong.

what can i do to bring you back?

2006-06-18T15:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I started on my homework yesterday at LPS with Tasha. And we eat and eat. Hhaha. TASHA WAS SEXAYE~! lols. okok. urms.. i dont really have the mood to blog right now. He ran away, he lied to me. But I'll forgive him. I understood how he feels.

We sure cried together last night. We sure need each other alot. You and I our past.

What can I do to bring you back? Why should you runaway from me? Whatever did I do that offended you I'm sorry. Please come back. I'm here waiting. I'll be there for you.

I need you as much as

You need me.

TO IRDA* YOU ROCK GIRL!!! HAHA!

whoopsie doodles~!

2006-06-17T09:59:00.000+08:00

Hehehs, I forgot to tell you something yesterday. I CHANGED MY LAYOUT! Hahah.. Okay, so how was it? I think the music scared off visitors. Okay fine I will try to find something soothing and matches the layout.

Yesterday, training was cancelled. I think because it was raining. And was chatting with ZAIri and was laughing like crazy. Then all of a sudden I became moody. I think because he doesn't layan me anymore. Then went to watch tv uh. It's been a long time since I watch that big black box stoned in the living room. I watched Sesame Street. And it was about Ernie and Big Bird playing hide and seek. Hahaha.. Ernie reminds me of Azhari while Big Bird? Helmi? Hahah! Oh yeah, talking about Helmi, I called him Mimi and he called me Fatfat -.-" Hahah.. Fair enough.

As night time came, I got pissed by my dad. About him forgetting to buy dinner. So I went to cook(: Ladies finger and stuff. Hahha. I love ladies finger. Anyway, while I was cutting with rage, I almost cut my finger. Hahah.. Watched the Swimsuit Models and it seemed tat I kind of wanna be a model too. BUT i don't have a hot bod. So... Heck about it. I still remember when I went out with Tasha to Town, someone offered me a modelling yadayada. Hoho.

Played Blues Clues with Az. Here's the scenario hahah!

Clue numer ONE; I see a clue on the TELEPHONE.
Clue number TWO; I see a clue on the GRANDFATHER CLOCK.
Clue number THREE; I see a clue on a DOLLHOUSE.

Then it took quite a long time to figure it out or maybe he did not sit on the THINKING CHAIR. Hhaha.. He called.. Hooray! The I asked him.. Have you solved the clue? Then he said yeah.. It was to call you. Hahah!

I called him the dog from Blues Clues and he called me Cookie Monster. We love cartoons that are blue. Hahah. Then during our convo, when we got really bored. We sang cartoon songs like Blues Clues, ScoobyDoo and lotsa more. Hahah.. He has an awesome voice. Like duh, he sang for his band. Hahah. Our convo was like filled with mystery, laughter and fun and lotsa riddles hahah. Then each of us has to solve it. Hahah.. Then we sing sing a song.. sing out loud.. okay. urm cut it out. Hahah.

Today.. Gonna start homework. Doing it @ Lau Pa Sat with Tasha.. Hahha.. Gonna take control of her SATAYEEE hahah! Alright.. Till here then. Chaos.

If my lungs still let me breathe,
Would you be there for me?
To share my tears of strain.
And sink your sorrows in my pain.
You begged my name in vain.
To define and differ of what's life and death,
My heart you stole in the great grand theft.
What shall I do apart from love and lies.
And shall we not speak of final goodbyes.

*That was the poem I owe to Azhari.
Lols. Nak sangat? Bacer my blog!

the pictures(:

2006-06-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

Alright, shall post the pictures(:

I was trying to hold my laugh.

Mind the scar on my bro's face.
Unfair siah! Why Iman take with him?!

Nehmind I take with Alfian.

AISAH AND ME(:

Walk on the red carpet.

The pilot & the teacher(:

Abg Jawahir (my cousin) & Kak Salina

Don't you worry, I love you.

To TAUFIQ; I don't get you my dear.

fcuked up sleep.

2006-06-15T11:08:00.000+08:00

Stupid fucking contractors. everday come and go but fucking don't do their fucking pathetic work like fucking un cultured people. ohkay sorry about cursing. I really pissed off man. I really want to sleep and really la! I can't. Tehy way that stupid fcuking old man talk was like ... old son of a bitch. Bark and bark. Wah lau. Then like what the hell? The way he puts his t-shirt like he want to steal my stuff. I was like. Wei asshole~! And the way he greets my brother like at cute? HAH~! It's like irritating. And that father of mine. I really cannot cannot take it anymore. I went to scold him. He should tell me earlier right. That there will be some assholes going to do the ceiling in my room. If only I could turn back time.. I would say "Arghh, no need la , let thatfreaking ceiling fall on me and die (-.-")" . I really cannot stand my father's way of life. Wahlau. I really need to be more independent then. Following how Suhailah says, pergi mampos. Btw, sorry for cursing. I really need to let it off. It's been like making me sleep and rest for so freaking less.

Yesterday's fun was not erally expecting. I'm disappointed with what really happened. I didn't really shopped like the way i wanted to shop. Suhailah lost her $150. She did panicked but she wasn't very worried. Sial uh, hardcore siah Suahilah. Hahah. Anyway, if I were in her shoes, I would like.. kill myself. Oh well. Just watched The Nun. It was damn a waste of money. Alright, first was at Lido then i wanted to buy tickets for The Omen and then Suhailah (die die wants) mati mati nak The Nun. So not my fault la. Hahaha. The movie only has suspense. That caused me to pinch our friend, M!rA. Hahah, sorry my dear. I thought I wanted to go Far East by myself after movie and Suhailah said to go Simei. So I thought, okay uh. Then never. Wahhhhh.. pissed off siahh. But I had to be patient (bersabar fatin).

Then went to sent Suhailah @ Sembawang. Took MRT. Hahah. M!rA and Mimi followed. Hahah. Mimi and her funny faces. M!rA was like.. so solemn. And yeah. Then M!rA all of the sudden want to drop @ Bedok. Then I say what for, no need uh. Cause I'm going to my uncle's house. So she said, oh ok. Haahah.

Went home. Talked to M!rA for like Almost 6 hours. We talked about alot of stuff. Advance sia our talk. We talked about what kind of babies we would like to have when we grow up. I wanted a chubby cute son. She wants chubby cute daughter. Hahah. Then we talked about where our weddings would take place. She said on the Esplanade terrace roof top. Then I agreed and said about fireworks. Maybe okay, what if I can't marry a pilot. That's okay. I want to marry atleast a rich bastard (that was what Azhari said). Hahah.. Still.. Muahah.. Then all of a sudden I K.O hahah! That was what she used to say. I was like on my pillow and then all of a sudden she said "Hello?! Eh... HELLO?!" Then I was like.. Urmm haha.. I K.O uh. Then she said okay uh. Then we put down and sleep.

I'm glad, that someone really for once appreciated the things I did. M!ra was like so far, the person who really appreciated alot for what I'm doing. Although I'm trying my best to change her stubborn attitude. She allowed me to and was looking forward. I want to make her a better person. Haish..

Here I am, trying to make the other person happy and makng another one sad. It's my life but I don't wanna break people's heart. So alright. I really got to talk. Really really need to talk.

I love you is all she heard.

I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.

(Why not?)

Quiz!

2006-06-13T16:31:00.000+08:00

20 PEOPLE YOU COULD THINK OF

Suhailah Shiddik
Nadya Basri
Tasha Sari
Farhah Mustafa
Irda Amiera
Hanifayana
Sarah Diyana
Aidil Alfian
al- roshuZairi
Farah Amira
Azhari
Fatin Alia
Nur Aisah
Zachary
Kaiyan
Hazwan
Syazwanie
Taufiq
Waffles
Rizal

How did you meet 14 { Zachary } ?
` Hmm, he added me @ friendster, started chatting and found out his my cousin's (ayie's) friend! Hahah, I met him @ MacDs for lunch.

What would you do if you never met o1 { Suhailah? } ?
` I will die la siah! I cannot live w/o her. She's my everything.

What would you do if 2o { Rizal } and o9 { Zairi } dated ?
` Siau?! They would be gays then! Hahah!

Have you ever like 19 { Waflles } ?
` Friendly like? Yes, Always have been.

Would o6 { Hani } and 17 { JSyazwanie } make a good couple ?
` What's wrong with you? Asking people to be gays/les?

Describe o3 { Tasha }
` She's my bitch. My shopping kick ass friend. I love her la!

Do you think o8 { Aidil Alfian } is attractive ?
` Erm, hmm.. No! haha! but he's personality is awesome.

Tell my something about o7 { Sarah Diyanah}
` She's very very understanding. ^-^

Do you know any of 12's { Fatin Alia } family members ?
` Yes, her sis, Sabinah or smth. haha!

What's o4 { Farhah } favourite hobby ?
` Netball I guess?

What would you do if 18 { Taufiq } confessed she/he loves you ?
` He already loves me! Hahah.

What language does 15 { Kaiyan } speaks ?
` Indian! Hahah.. No uh, English/Mandarin and I think Hokkien.

Who is o9 { Zairi } goin out with ?
` Hopefully me(: Hahah. No one.

Would you ever like 14 {Hazwan}?
` NOOOO!. That fucker. Hahah. Sorry Nadya!

When's the last time you talk to 13 { Aisah coussie } ?
` Urms, @ my tagb! and at the wedding @ orchid country club. We sure talked alot!

What's o2 { Nadya Basri } favourite band/singer ?
` Don't know. She likes jiwang and I know nothing about jiwang. I hate jiwang!

Would you ever date 11 { Azhari }
` Yeah, i think tmr is considered one. But he's LAZY! $#$@!

What happens if 18(Taufiq) & 13(Aisah coussie) dated?
`OMG! Aisah! How could you! He's mine!

Is 15 { Imran } single ?
` Urm I not sure. I think she's still with Roshan.

What is 1o's { Farah} last name ?
` Amran

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11 { Azhari } ?
` Urm, I guess so, maybe. If he wants. Since he's lying to himself -.-"

What school does o3 { Tasha } goes to ?
` Same as mye laa. & same class Damai , 2e4.

Where does 19 { Waffles } live ?
` I don't know eh.

What's your favourite thing about o5 { Rachel } ?
` EVERYTHING! She rocks uh!

Have you seen o9 { Zairi } naked ?
` OH NO ! NEVER! NOT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE ! >.< Whye you love 13 { Nur Aisah } ?
` OFCOURSE! I always loooveee her!!

Would o1 { Suhailah} and 08 { Aidil Alfian } love each other ?
` Perhaps ? But they dont know each other well at all.

Ever imagine of marryin 14 { Zachary } ?
` No, He's wayyyy to crazy for me to handle. Hahah!

What do you want to do with 11 { Azhari } ?
` Don't Get the worng idea. Hahah, Hang out and crap together.

Consider datin 16 { waffles } if there's opportunity ?
` NO. i hate him. he's such a fcuker. hahah! sorry again Nadya!

OINK OINK!

Wedding @ Country Club

2006-06-12T11:19:00.000+08:00

CAN I LIKE SHOUT?! I LOVE THE WEDDING HELD @ ORCHID COUNTRY CLUB! Everything was just so superb. The food ok not bad uh. But the program is sooo AWESOME! Ok here's the details. Firstly, I woke up can't decide what to wear. I decided to where purple again. Then, took a cab to Orchid Country Club and I feel like throwing up. The taxi driver like don't know how to drive. Kept changing lanes for no reason. And I stared at him, and he caught me staring at him. In fact I was glaring actually. Reached there, met up with the-gary-immitator-oh-mao! AISAH! Hahah. We crapped alot alot and really alot. Kept laughing till people stared at us. Probably they would say "Are they invited?" Hahha. Well of course you crapface. Hahah. Then took pictures. Alot of pictures. I shall post it some other day since the cam is with my brother.

When the wedding was about to begin, I sat with Aisah and family since my aunt took my seat at my family table. Whoooaaa~!! I like the pelamin (the stage wherby both the bride and bridgroom sits). Hahahha. Took pictures of them. Ate and at the same time smsed the same 2 people. Azhari and A.F. Then we watched a so called "interview" of both the bride and the groom in a videoclip played at this big projector. Was funny, cute and sweet hahah! Then they had the Sword Ceremony since my cousin(who was the bridegroom) is in the Airforce. I was like... Whoaa.. I want my husband to be a PILOT! Hhahah. Then we had this "game" where you have to catch the bouquet of flowers thrown by the bride. And he was asking for girls 16 years and above and still single. And he asked me but he said this, "You? You I think 12 years old marry already" THAT IS SOOOO INSULTING. PFTTT! Hahahah. Still I know people are having fun. Hahah. Ok. Then after that event, camwhore with Aisah and the two mini soveniers we got. One was a mini teddy bride and the other was a mini teddy groom and then i took a pictures of them. Arghhh shall show you kk?? hahah. alrites urm then went back home.

Promised to call him so i did. World record for me and him, about 6 hours of call. Whoa. Hahaha! Okay uh till here. My bill will BURST any fucking time. YAY! hahah. ARGHH shits. Today got training. I think Imma gonna die any soon.

And to you, I just don't get it why are you like this? All of the sudden the DRASTIC change. I sense something. I just don't know uh. Haish.. TASHA IM GONNA MISS YOU! Go Batam jangan luper nak belikan something for kiterang. Hahah.

And to you, you are hurting me. I'm just not sure. I'm suffering alot. Alot. Really alot. Firstly I don't understand why must she record my voice? I feel fuckingly betrayed. But whatever it is la. Fuck up siah. Are you like what using me? Recording our conversation? And using that as proof? WHAT DYOU THINK I AM ?! IN THE CRIME. don't be too egoistic please. it hurts me alot.

And you grandma, shut your f mouth. What I do is what I call relaxing. So far I'm stressed over alot of things. Making people happy and not making my fucking self happy. So if I'm happy fuck off.

BORED

2006-06-11T12:56:00.000+08:00

It seems that I'm more and more lazy to blog. But oh-crap I have to. In just one day, almost a hundred came to my blog. So, to keep the number of visitors grow, I have to yet entertain them with my daily craps. Still it's fun you know hahaha. Okay, I shall start.

On Friday, did not went for training. Was @ Nadya's house to do project. End up, I slack, they do. Hahah. I'm tired uh, from all that training and lame lectures i get from adults. I just don't get you Suhailah, you said you like Azhari and then you said you were lying and was just playing. You can't play love you know. Besides, you are playing with his feelings. Oh wells, still I will make you like him. By making you jealous. LOL -.-" okay. Erm, called him and told about the upcoming event. Here's what we're gonna do:

Watch the Nun
Eat @ Breeks/Swensen/Pizza Hut/LauPaSat
Shop till my legs go KEBABOOOM!
Cam-whore
Prank/Joke/Laugh
Cam-whore again
Shop
Laugh
Cam-whore
LAUGHHH!

Of course, not in order. I asked Azhari to follow. To like make Suhailah like him and that was the point. But she said she hated him. And she don't know. Nampak sah Suhailah you like him kn? Lerr.. -.-" . Then I fought with Hafiz Dionsio and Nadya about they saying why I'm siding Azhari and not Dionsio. It is called contact my sweet friend. I hardly had any close contact with Dionsio eventhough I knew him longer than Azhari. That show's that I can side Azhari because eventhough I knew him for about days, I saw him, knew him well, and had a rather close contact with him. So he deserve my support. Argh stop that. That is ages ago.

Yesterday (saturday) had this kenduri. I had to help out and became kendarat. I got 20 bucks for that and extra 30 for no reason and all in all I did not HELP MUCH. Hehhs. A.F sms-ed me. Asking for my pic. I was abit kekek uh, he already has a job. Then I msg-ed Azhari to layan me. Can't ask Suhailah, she's @ Sembawang. Tasha? LPS Nadya? Sentosa. So I turned to Azhari. Amazingly, he called me 2 times. In the afternoon and in the evening. Talked for till I went home. Crap about soccer and stuff, the usuals. Talked about our life. Talk and crap. Crap and talk. Hahah.

I had this cousin, who looked like Sutra, handsome uh. But his sister, my cousin also, had a little mental problem. Her age is 15 and she is like, anti-social, and mind prob stuff. Mannnnn!! His bro so cute la siah. Ok. My cousin. ARGHH.

Had this drama that I shall not want to tell. I'm sick of telling to alot of people. Actually Suhailah and Azhari. lols. But man. I'm lazy. Today I had this dinner @ Orchid Country Club or something. Yeahh, free food and I can't wait.

Guess what. Almost all my relatives called me either Paul Twohill or Rahimah Rahim. Because of my hair and thick eyeliners. I prefer Paul uh. Rahimah more to punkrock. Paul more to almost whatever I like ^-^. Alrite then till here la. Cheers!

Here We Stand Together Another Day Has Passed Us
With Its Lack Of Change.

not feeling well.

2006-06-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not feeling well. I felt like throwing up. I'm not really in the mood to blog right now. Just in point form, figure it out yourself.

Firstly, he said to pick me up. HAHA. What kind of promise/hope/whatever it is that?
Secondly, I submitted the application form to work @ Pizza Hut. Yeah! At last got job. I seriously need to get away from this laptop. Hahha. Earn money and at least I don't have to make my father worry about "money problems".
Went to Long John and this old malay guy thinks I'm looking at him. Ewww. I was looking at hottayes outside not you. Sedar la sikit. Luckily I had the chance to roll my beautiful eyes @ him.
I'm guilty. Suhailah making me feel that with her jiwang song.
I'm tired, legs busted, muscle aches. Sooner or later I'm gonna die. Wheee! Hurray.
HANI busted her foot. HAHAH! It's your turn now.
Those sec 1 bitches. Please la, I pity you. You are still immature. Dont make a fool out of yourself.
Suhailah <3>
Sarah said she like the gothicy kinda look and the way i dress. Aww man.. you made my day!
I wanna wear a dress on the dinner night @ turf country club or smth? lols!

Adios. Tag my tagboard yeah. Love y'all.

2nd post

2006-06-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

2nd POST!

Alright. Had training and this was the converstaion I had with the OH-SO-TERRIBLE-YET-HIS-GREAT-MONSTER coach and with Mrs Loke;

COACH: She is Siti's niece you know.
(Telling Mrs Loke)
MRS LOKE: You mean as in the small
Siti the teacher that one? (Replying him)
COACH: Yeah.
MRS LOKE: Fatin! So are you close to
Siti?
ME(FATIN): Urms, not really. I'm
close to her sister.
(What I meant was, YOU AISAH. So don't you kembang! HAHA)
MRS LOKE: Oh I see. That's
great.
COACH: WAHH! I tell you uh.. If she
can play like her uh.. WAHH!!!! MUAHAAHAHHA!
(Oh that evil laugh of yours is killing me! Stop it)
MRS LOKE: Yeah, must slowly catch
up.

ME: (As I think in my mind; Wahh.. no need la. I'm not really into netball as you see. Hahaha. I'm more to be a socialite. LOLS! So, I like meeting people, making friends, make them happy)

AHAHAHAHAH! My crap again.

So yes, I'm not in the main team. YAY! I can now chill out. Hahah. And do websites for the fellow damai netballers. Awhhh how I love to do that. You guys all torture under the sun, while I just chill in the air-con. Hahahah. Okay. Dream on Fatin. You still have to go trainings.

So, I went back home. F added me. F asked me for S. I said yes will S to F. Then F wants to meet me @ school tmr and blanjer me makan? Like real. I don't believe seh. Hahaha. If he did. Well, Fatin you just had a lucky day(: hahaha. He is so cute la. I love his nose.

Just watched Project Runway. SANDIEGO always thinks he will win every task. Like WTF?! So !@!$@ ahahha. I think Nick deserves it. Hahahah. I love that Barbie doll dress he designed. I wanna wear it. So the sexayyyee. hahaha!

Chat with Zai, as always. We kept talking about why we are not together. Like he has feelings for me and I do. I mean, does he still have feelings for me? Like last time he put as his PM. Arhhh hell. Then all of a sudden we talked about me on top of him! I was like. KOTOR sey zairi! Hahah. But he has the cheek to say "Ishk, Fatin gatal eh. Otak kuning". ahahah. Then in the end he conffesed " Ishkk.. Can't believe my otak so kuning" hahaha. Seriously la. Every guy i talk to they will bring this topic up. ISHK. Not me ehh.. Hahah. But I just layan la. Hahaha. But I HAVE NO INTENTION LIKE THEIRS. I just layan for the fun. Make Zairi's day. Hahahha. Wahh gi chalet tak ajak orang. And his sweet talk all gone. Like "Yes my dear? Aper syg?" Heheh. still he gave me kiss(: muahahah! OK.

AWWHH how i love POLARBEAR. nice cute nose. hahah! PSSST. ~~<3fadhil~~. haahah.

making a list

2006-06-07T12:20:00.000+08:00

Haish, my head feels realy heavy now. I actually did not intend to go online. But, I dont know. That button seemed screaming for me and me and my itchy fingers. So I just on this lovely laptop of mine. It's been 4 days and it's getting so boring. No "your laugh very cute", "ehh serious la, you very cute" compliments frm "the white vegetable". ICE as in Mr.Zairi is busy with his camp and family chalet. Warhhh.. I am like so popular among his cousins. I almost knew each one of them. Hahaha. Everyone busy. Same as me. Busy in the things I don't wish to be. If people can bear for 4 years, why can't I? But torture la. When I'm there, I have no one to talk to. I'm all alone. Serious. Must I bare? Am I letting beatifulgolden chances to pass? Arghh.. piece of crap.

I'm gonna make a list from now on. Doing timetables and yadayada. So that I could keep track of what I'm doing since now, I'm more than so lost. Lost till I don't know who I really am. The one you think who is strong. Alarhhh.. Well, now I'm not. Or maybe am I being to demanding?

"You are 14 years young and it seemed that you have to hold everything by yourself, you have to be strong." Stop saying that ok. I get this old phrase from friends who think they knew my problem and teachers who just think they care. And it's not you Kak Shifa. I'm really thankful for having you here. More than glad. Hahah. Some people still have the guts to say that I'm not strong. Then yeah, that's the truth. Why should you bother pushing me? I thought if I stop going to trainings, nobody cared. Wahh.. so far got uh. WHY?! When I'm there no one ever cared. So far, the people I can turn to without doubt is Suhailah, Tasha and Nadya? Actually more than that, I have myself. Arghhhhhhhh! Stop my crap.

wah gerek la.

2006-06-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

I found this almost EVERYWHERE in friendster. So I shall let you know the parts that are true about me. I just love being born in February. I feel so special. Ohkay anything nice and starts with F, I like.( And I mean SOMETHING nice not smth like.. fcuk. ok?) Let me get you you the facts right.
----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------
Abstract thoughts. (True)
Loves reality and abstract. (50-50)
Intelligent and clever. (50-50) [gotta admit smetimes(:]
Changing personality.(True)
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.(50-50) [hehhs]
Temperamental. (True)
Quiet, shy and humble. (True)
Honest and loyal. (True)
Determined to reach goals. (True)
Loves freedom. (True)
Rebellious when restricted.(True)
Loves aggressiveness. [??? huh??]
Too sensitive and easily hurt.(True)
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.(True)
Dislikes unnecessary things. (50-50)
Loves making friends but rarely shows it.(True)
Horny. [wtf??]
Daring and stubborn.(True)
Ambitious. (True)
Realizing dreams and hopes.(True)
Sharp.(True)
Loves entertainment and leisure. (True)
Romantic on the inside not outside. (True)
Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. (True)
Tries to learn to show emotions.(True)
-----------------------------------------------
Okay, percentage wise, this thing is 80% right. The other 20% was something more mysterious about me. Hahha. Ohkay that's lame. So please laugh. Anyway. I got addicted to reading XiaXue's blog. There seemed to be magic in her words that kept me reading. Lols. Alright. Recently I received friendster messages from 2 guys. One guy "I" kept sending me friendster smiles with a message attached to it. The same old boring message.. saying "hi".. -.-" So, trying not to be rude, and nice.. I said this for the second message;

Errm, hello awak.. Braper kali awak nak cakap hi ni? Hahha. Anyways, i
shall say "hello" to you too.. HI!! (o^-^)O hehhs.. see i'm waving ..

I think what he's trying to do was to make me add him. HAHA. Okay guys, I don't
add people. I only add people when

I know that person and that person knows me.
He is the MOST HANDSOME GUY I'VE SEEN.
YOU HAVE AN AWESOME HAIRSTYLE.
We share the same interest and 100% original.
The MOST artistic FEMME who caan design.
A celebrity.
I need help from you.

So yeah, I don't add girls. Girls add me. Chey-wah. Guys add me and I only layan MATURE guys. Like those who have no graphics in their profiles. But shit Taufiq's profile got a million graphics. And MAN I HATE THAT. Shall PSYCHO him to change. I seriously hate those fucking blinking graphics. Only Primary school students use that. So please I beg you. Stop using that.

Ok back to topic. The second person who send me message was "A-F". He gave me his number. Ok. He was the guy Suhailah said he was handsome. And now he added me and gave me his number. So I replied and the message is " ---------------" Nah.. You people can't see. It's private man! Hahha.

The lead singer of Ronin, the one bleached all white and look like one fucking ghost, no offence. Said that Friendster is one way to flirt online. That's so true. Hahah. Alright. Well, the truth is, flirting online seemed popular and almost the most effective way. But ofcourse the risks are high too. All the guys I was attached to was online-free. Which means I'm a healthy at making out/dating or smth. Ok. I'm crapping. I bet I know what she'll probably thinks of me after what she's reading. Why am I afraid of your critiques. Maybe because I treated you like my best friend. But arrggg.. fcuk. You aint my best friend. I'm not gonna be afraid of you and your mouth. Just gonna follow what Suhailah said; "Alahh.. buat dek jer.." Awww Suhailah.. I love you! You're just the best. Maybe the things I thought and fought about you last time was wrong. And guess what. We haven't been fighting! YEAHHHHH!!! Love my bitches and my sweet Nadyne.

-----

Alright I slept at around 2am in the morning because firstly I CANT SLEEP. But my eyes are sleepy. Just my jello brains stubbornly wont stop thinking. Thinking about what? Not sure. Don't ask me. Hhahaa. Alright last night I talk to the famous Zul. About domains. Hahah. Can't wait! Then he gave me this beautiful testimonial;

heheh.. nice kn? if you say no, then you just dont really appreciate the beauty of graphic art. hahah! alright coolios. if anything else cool to talk, I SHALL BLOG THEN! mmmuahahahh! As for now, if you have nothing to do, write for me a testimonial. hahah!

dead yet yeat blogging ;

2006-06-05T11:39:00.000+08:00

I just ate dinner, rice with cooked TAUGEY cooked by dad -.-" I hate to eat taugehs I mean, just like mr.taugeh(taufiq) hates eating them too even if his name is taugeh. Hahha. I mean, I just eat uh. Nothing else to eat. And if I don't eat, my dad will get mad and me? Go hungry, get stressed and die. Yay! The End. Arrhh shit. Having gastrix. I am HUNGGGRYYYYY!!!

---

I'm having minor migraines;
A severe recurring headache, usually affecting only one side of the head, characterized by sharp pain and often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, and visual disturbances. Also called megrim.
And THAT's what I'm heving now.

---

I'm having headaches. Pounding ones. I can't sleep at night. In fact last night I didn't sleep. I'm having mini blackouts. I can feel my heartbeat in my head. I'm dehydrating, I can't stop thinking and don't even know what I was thinking. Worst still, I forgot what I was thinking. I'm soo stresssed. My smiles and my personality blocks these symptoms. It's hard for people to notice what state I'm in. I'm trying my best to express my feelings clearly. But im weird and yeah, I can't I'm starting to keep ALOT of things to myself. AND IT'S BEEN ALOT. I promised myself not to share it. It's all lock. The keys are crushed. Dont try to even break into it. I'll do anything to be happy. As for now, I have doubts. Dying is just a useless excuse. I find it so stupid. For those who intend to commit suicide, use you jello brains. What I want is, just everything to be the least perfect.

I don't think I'm going to trainings anymore, I tried running at home. Just one hop my legs are dead. After 1 hour of walking, my knees went all jelly. Naahhhhhhhh, I know things can't be perfect. But you can try. I want to try, I haven't try. Doubts doubts. Never once I was stress-free. I only knew that the only stress-free year I had was P6. And sec1 well was the start of this. I want my secondary life to be the sweetest and memoriable. Why can't I? My life you know. MY LIFE! As for now, I don't care what people think of me. What people think of my life. Like me being emotional and fussy and all. Hey there are people worst than me ok. My life not yours. Why bother? So if I want things to be perfect, let it be. What I do did not actually made your life miserable right? I'm sick of people controlling my life. Trying my best to make people happy just suck. I DONT CARE. MY LIFE MY LIFE. I want my life to be at it's best. So go away. My post as for today is not about offending people. It's about offending things I get into and when I want to get out, I can't. You should know my usuals. The thing I hate about school.

I'm unfaithful

2006-06-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

Alright so I watched X-men3 instead of The Nun. Watched at Suntec and yeah, saw Azhari. He's handsome uh but Suhailah say no. -.-" Takper la Suhailah taste different from mine. So yeah, suhailah just take him la. We got lost after that and so we took cabby home. Cam-whored and urms never cam-whored as much. Maybe because we had no time? Haha. But I'll promise you we will cam-whore like we never used the camera before! Haha! So yeah. I'm Rogue and Zairi's Bobby. Hahaha. But i like the power of Jean or Pheonix. Haha. Awesome. I cried the part when Professor Xavier died. Saddening ok! Hahaha. Anyway I thought of buying clothes but instead no because my father promised to give me $200 and instead he gave me $50 today. I spent it all on the 3 of the bitches (me, suhailah & tasha) haha.

I'm gonna so miss Taufiq~! My one and only. Hahaha. Talked for 3hrs and 15 mins last night. From 1am in the morning to 4am+ Then slept. In the morning had to go hospital with my brother to check about my knee. But I'm too tired. And guess what. It was the wrong day. Should check like during the days of my trainings. Haha. So can cabot. Alarhhh I want to quit and go get part time job. Like this, atleast I dont get stuck at my fcuked up laptop and get fcuked up with people online. Like I've been counting those who copycated me to get an Italian name. Copycats. Haha. Ohkay Fatin, stop your ego. Don't end up like her. Alright. I listened to Unfaithful by Rihanna. Gosh, I'm touched by the lyrics. It really mean alot to me. And Suhailah. Hahah. But yeah, what i did was unfaithful, but the fact is I am faithful (unless of course you made something bad that caused me to turn my back to you). Anyway, Taufiq asked me a favour, "Please ah.. don't flirt.." Hahaha. Alright I try XD. I won't kay? But hey enjoy your time at Melbourne. GO GET ME A SWAVORSKI DIAMOND. Hahah! Anything you buy for me, I'm happy with it okay. I just wanna get something a little more special than your friends from you. That will show me that I'm standing somewhere better in your heart(: Hahah.

Artist: Rihanna
Song: Unfaithful
Album: A Girl Like Me

Story of my life

searching for the right

but it keeps avoiding me

sorrow in my soul

cause it seems that wrong

really loves my company

hes more than a man

and this is more than love

the reason that the sky is blue

the clouds are rolling in

because i'm gone again

and to him i just can't be true

and i know that he knows i'm unfaithful

and it kills him inside

to know that i am happy with some other guy

i can see him dying

i don't wanna do this anymore

i don't wanna be the reason why

everytime i walk out the door

i see him die a little more inside

i don't wanna hurt him anymore

i don't wanna take away his life

i don't wanna be...a murderer

i feel it in the air

as i'm doing my hair

preparing for another day

a kiss up on my cheek

he's here reluctantly

as if i'm gonna be out late

i say i won't be long

just hanging with the girls

a lie i didn't have to tell

because we both know

where i'm about to go

and we know it very well

cause i know that he knows i'm unfaithful

and it kills him inside

to know that i am happy with some other guy

i can see him dying

i don't wanna do this anymore

i don't wanna be the reason why

everytime i walk out the door

i see him die a little more inside

i don't wanna hurt him anymore

i don't wanna take away his life

i don't wanna be...a murderer

our love, his trust

i might as well take a gun and put it to his head

get it over with

i don't wanna do this

anymore (anymore)

i don't wanna do this anymore

i don't wanna be the reason why

everytime i walk out the door

i see him die a little more inside

i don't wanna hurt him anymore

i don't wanna take away his life

i don't wanna be...a murderer (a murderer)

And yeah, the purple words are just the part that reflects me. To you, I'm sorry. To Taufiq, I love you munchkins. Hahaha. Anyways, when I was in the cabby with Suhailah, I cried when I was listening to this song. I was actually thinking that what if the cabby we were in is to be involve in an accident? That I die, and Suhailah made it through. That to see Suhailah suffering and all. And me leaving the broken pieces behind, the pieces i wish to fix up.

*PS; I hate you . Go and die la. Go to hell uh. I never once regreted saying this. I will never accept you back. I will never forgive you for what you did to mummy. You are inhuman. Worst than an animal. You are nothing but just a piece of an attitude bitch. Go fcuk off. You and your attitude. You husband-to-be will suffer. I hate you. I never once was happy to have you as my . I was born to make people happy by what I wish to. I never wish to make you happy. Never. So go die fcuk off. You are one heartless bitch. To find how you fall in love with a guy, was nothing but miracles. And hard to say miracles are hard to find. Why don't you fcuk off from my life? Throwing my things that were in your way? Why can't you just at least shift it nicely? With you slamming he door and all. Just tell me what are you unhappy about. Can you accept the fact that I hate you because you are hard to please and you were just a pain in the ass. That you made mummy cried. Your forgiveness during Hari Raya was just useless. You never change. For now I declare, YOU ARE NOT MY SISTER. You are worst person I've ever known. I HATE YOU. Because of you, I find no happiness to be involved with thisthing called family. I dont like the sight of your ugly inhuman face! So if you were to run away, I'm more than happy. Goodnight all!

Tag Replies!

Amanda; Well thanks sweet(:

Kaiyan; YAYY?!?!

AISAH; Laugh then!! HAHAH!

SUHAILAH & TAUFIQ; Yay! Gadoh! But alamak, Taufiq da belayar jumper Hafiz kat Melbourne. HAHA!

DIYANA; No problemo(:

Utterly disappointed.

2006-06-02T11:28:00.000+08:00

I'm disappointed with everyone. Even myself. I hate this feeling. I'm not in the mood. I'm sick and sick of this. I'm in pain, that stupid knee. I hate almost everything. It's causing my life not at ease. I just just just hate everything! Why can't I atleast able to control my life abit? But I can't because I can't solve this problem. I wish to start a new but there's no fresh future. I just want to run away, start everything new.

Yesterday was disappointing. Wanted to watch movie but instead, we slacked. I must say I didn't enjoy my day yesteraday. Firstly, everytime I tried to say something, I can't. I know they were joking and having fun about whatever I have to say. But it's getting irritating you know. You guys know I hate to repeat things. Well if you don't, then now you do. I DO NOT LIKE TO REPEAT THINGS I NEED TO SAY. Oh well, I knew you guys are just having fun. So yeah, no hard feelings.

Secondly, you comment on whatever I wear. Like my beaded necklace which I turned it into a bracelet and saying it's like tasbih and all. And that you hate my shirt because of the lace. You hated the choice of clothes I chose. Saying eww and stuff. Yeah maybe I have a different taste. The gothic-y kinda like. With the lace and all. And Farhah, if you wanna wear smthing gothic-y then you shud'nt be hating my taste. Seriously. I felt insulted by my two friends about my look. About things I wear when people asking me online where I buy them. And you guys made me feel like I wasted on big bucks wearing things that disgusts you or smth.BUT I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE JOKING. but have you guys had enough bullying me? Yeah I know you guys love to bully me uh. but dont take it tooooo farrr. But yeah guys, still no hard feelings and nooooo offfence.

Thirdly, from 7 ppl to 3 ppl. That is so disappointing. No fun. No nothing. So equals no mood. Cam-whore like it seemed that there's something better things to do. I have to admit this la. I cam-whored better with my 3 bitches and Nadya. It's like a rule i must stick to. Or is it just my mood? Yeah, in the end I didn't watch the movie. I'm of in no mood. Plus my kneeee hurts again. Sheeesh.

Lastly, Amir just won't accept the fact that I forgave him. Hey, if you are there.. I fograve you ok? I'm just to tired and in of no mood to talk and chat and yadayada. That's why im not as normal as you think I used to be.
I MISS TAUFIQ. I CAN'T LIVE W/O TALKING TO TAUFIQ. I missed him until I dreamnt about him. Saddening uh. ARGGGHHHHHH. I never missed someone like this. And believing the fact that his hp isn't working, I can just cry. Last night I was so ready to call him. But before that I went to apply lotion on my body. Tried calling him but can't pick up so I got so fed up I went to bed with shorts and my neck strap bra. hahah. And I found out, it's comfortable to sleep that way. hahah!

Anyway, I feel like as if my family's falling apart. Me, going out too much because I don't want to listen my father blabbering about politics and about me fussy about food. I dont wanna be stuck alone at home. So far at home, the only person I talked to is my dad. And it seems so.. difficult for him to understand. The problem is he doesn't want to try to understand. And excuses about me hanging out with HANYUT ppl. oh gosh, my father doesn't trust me. Like hello? I have decent friends and a decent BRAIN to think what is goood or bad.
But overall, I wish my family became what it used to be. When almost everyone is at home, eating at in the living room watching tv together at the same time. When the time I used to joke about school to my mum. Or to my sister. Now it seems that I've been watching no tv. Even if I do, I watched alone. I find myself more stuck to this laptop and it seemed a better thing to do. I'm lonely but not because I have no friends. Inded I have plenty of wonderful friends. Especially like Suhailah, Nadya and Tasha. I have to declare this. You guys are my everything. You guys are the one to replace the things I've been lacking of. In my primary school years, I heard my friends hating their family and all. I was very happy but not because I'm evil and all but because I love my family and that I have a wonderful family. But now, Family love seemed like the most expensive thing in this whole wide world. I've been craving to do that but how? when the ohter party seemed not to respond?

I read the previous post about the plane thingy with my dad and the things about my mum, I cried. I get really relly jealouse whenever i get to hear about my friends going out with their family. Inside me i felt that that is the most unfairest thing ever. What I really wish it that I need to get my schedule free. So I can spend time with my family and my grandmother especially. But fcuk, there's always CCA. haish. I wanted my dad to quit me from netball but well he says cca is important and said "why don't you just play? you like sports right?" Well he doesn't know that I hate the trainings. Yet he stil got the cheek to complain to me about why i always go home so damn late! Well because I have training and I can like be home everyday if you get me to quit. -.-" sheeeeeeshhhh. It's my life and it seems that I'm not the one controlling it. My problems are.

Sometimes,

Running away from the problem

is the best solution of all.

XMEN3 here i come:D

2006-06-01T09:44:00.000+08:00

Hehhes, alright have been looking forward to watching Xmen3 uh lately. Wanted to watch with
taufiq, but it seems there's a little doubt in me. Want to watch with Ayie and Zach, but damn they pranked it halfway like all of a sudden disappear and ask me to meet them at town? Sheeesh. My father is always busy and it's like when will he send me to the doctor? I want to do some Xray and all and urms.. Maybe an operation? hhaha.. I don't know. All I know is that, I'll die much sooner than you guys. My life span is short so yeah, I'm thankful. Not that I want to die. It's just that, yeah I don't want to die, but if I were to die soon because Allah wants me so, then I will just die then. I just follow what Allah wants. He's my god anyway and yeah I've been a bad person for making Allah disappointed. I mean I know what I did. Like sinful things. Not so terok la. I'm not hanyut ok. Just some minor big sinful things. If you guys know what I mean. I'm trying my best and I must tell you, I received a warning from the other world. You guys better buck up. Seriously. I'm scareddddd. ;(

Anyway, I had a weird dream yeasterday. About me boarding a plane with my dad. Why planes? Just because I heard many people going overseas and know I'm dreaming about planes? Oh well. I dreamnt that about her not making it. I mean yeah I know. But why? Has she came back and then passed away again? I woke up and I found dried tears on my face. It's scary seriously.

I watched Project Runway yeasterday and it kept making me want to be a fashion designer. I remember that I tried to design as many clothes with my bestie Cherie. I went to her house just to design clothes. Had so much fun. Hahaha. Ok. Then Sandiego was like bastard sey. He said "they just don't wanna give me teo in a row." So bad kn? I mean all he thinks that his designs are the best. But chloe won the challenge and too me, I think she deserved it. Because only using just a little resource, she is able to design something perfect and nice. Unlike sandiego, he got alot of things to reinvent and design. So yeah, I like chloe, she's cute[= hahah.

I wont' be posting any of today. What ever happens today and later will be posted tmr. So hey, Atleast I updated everyday. Unlike you guys. Bwahahhaha. I give up trying to make people tag me. I mean.. Heyy.. Unfair tau. hahah. But as long as there are people viewing my site and reading my story. I'm glad(:

Till here and cheers people!

MUCH LOVE!

Trainings! I hate you.

2006-05-31T10:43:00.000+08:00

Argghh fcuk? Today got training. I have seriously better things to do. As in, I have chores to do. But oh well, people just won't believe me anyway. It's my life, I do whatever I want. Then why must I make you guys happy? I mean, it's not what I want to do all my life. If I can't make you happy, then lemme go. Gosh.

Alright. Last night, I talked to Amir on the phone. Talk talk talk and I didn't mean to stress you up but yeah, I guess we had fun talking. Many people sms-ed me while I was sleeping. Im too tired to even move. Anyways, Imma gonna have breakfast, lontong or mee siam? I hate them both? Haha, dad's cooking for me maggi. Sayang Ayah. Wahahah. Alright. Will post later. See yaaa.

---

Alright, In the first place I skipped trainning. Here's why; I was getting ready for trainning, all of a sudden there's this fcuking honet(that fatt ass bee) in my room. And it is like fly frantically all over my house. I freaked out and I ran to my father, who was in his room. Stupid bee followed me. I squad down and my knee have this cracking sound. I was like OUCH?!?! Then I tried standing, fcuk? It hurts like @!$!$#. Ohkay anyways I told my father and he called Mdm Yani and told about my knees. Instead he said ankle and I was like? HUH?! Alright it's ok. As long as Mdm Yani know about my knees. Then yeah, I'm here blogging. I'm hungry la. I need foood. Bwahhaha. Urms, I made a Photoshop Brush and yeah.. I will distribute to you guys soon. Anways, I'm gonna make my subdomain as a ... graphic site? Well, I need to go do some planning.

Did I mention. That all the lovey dovey things people said to me like.. "I love you, I miss you,..." and blablabla? Actually gave me this tinggling feeling in me. I kinda like it because its making me smile and laugh and on the other hand, I hate it. Because the feeling can get a little bit irritating.

I'm in a mood of doing a blogskin. Or a webskin. Or an icon. Or another brush. Or tutorials! But I'm just plain lazy. Tmr I going out with Farhah, Syaz, Irda and friends and Amir! Hehehe. I want him to come and I don't want him to go as well, because I'm afraid he gets bored. I told him that it's ok if you dont wanna go but he still insists. So okay, it's fine with me. And yeahh..

I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE THERE VIEWING MY BLOG.
GO AND TAG ME LA BACHINS! HRMPHS. AMIR!
I KNOW YOU ARE THERE. GO TAG!

{Ill wear your skin as a suit, pretend to be you}

Bored -.-"

2006-05-30T14:47:00.000+08:00

I'm bored, so let's do some quizzes.

Your Italian Name Is...

Fiorella MancinniYeahh, I like it(:

What's Your Italian Name?

Your French Name is:

Felicite Nicolas
(I love names that starts with F)

What's Your French Name?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive
when your lover is creative
and never lets you feel bored. (This is so true)

You'd like to your lover to think
you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up
with someone who was emotional,
moody, and difficult to please. (Again true)

Your ideal relationship is open.
Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is low.
Even if you're tempted,
you'd try hard not to do it. (TRUE again)

You think of marriage as something
that will confine you.
You are afraid of marriage. (Am I?
But I love marriage =X)

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?
(I like this. Hehhs.)

How Scary Are You?

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you
as driven and ambitious.
Overall, your true self is creative
and expressive.
With friends, you seem dramatic,
lively, and quick to react.
In love, you seem
mysterious and interesting.
In stressful situation,
you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.
(true enough)

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

You Are a Super Flirt

You love to flirt,
so much so that it gets you in trouble.
In almost any situation,
you find yourself flirting -
even when it's inappropriate.
You tend to embrace all flirting styles too..
from coy to sexy to playful to serious.
And if someone flirts back,
you'll crank it up even more! (I AM A FLIRT!)

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

You Are Super Spicy

You're a little bit crazy,
a little bit naughty,
and a whole lot of sexy.
You go beyond hot -
you set people's senses on fire!
(thats explains why im a flirt)

Are You Hot?

DONED-DED!

Oh well, let's talk about yesterday. I went to TM with Suhailah. Met Zach and Ayie. Woahh.. Zach is so tall man. 179 cm. I can like.. topple over while looking up at his face? haha. Urms, I did not went training because of my leg. In fact, I went TM to get my medicines. Then suppose to watch movie with Amir, but i changed the date. Isn't he sweet? He says he wanna watch Xmen3 with me. Hahha. Im suppose to follow Taufiq to his class BBQ but i was lucky, he said it was boring. Then Zach asked me to meet him and Ayie at town. I was like. Hell no! I can't go town waring like that. And my dad will kill me if he finds out. Hahah alrite. I did this skin yesterday so yeah.. Hope you like it. Urms, gosh I'm confuse. Totally confuse. Seriously Im in major confusion. Oh well, I LOVE PEOPLE GIVING ME TESTIMOS saying i'm pretty. It makes me kembang. haha! but to be honest, I'm not. And ZACH says i'm trying to act humble -.-" Hello. I am humble. That is what most of my bestfriends told me. Hehhs. Suhailah says, if people praise you, just admit it you like it. Haha, yes, I like it. And NO, you aint a minah. You are baby metal. Where got minah baby metal kan? To me, You will always be Suhailah (the one and only SUEXHALE-R) haha.. cheer up oks. LOVE!

Skipped training

2006-05-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

Alright, I'm suppose to post about Monday and since it's already Tuesday, 12:28AM, I shall still blog about Monday. Hahha. Alright craps. Urms.. I did not went for training because my rash is sort of back. My knee hurts and I can't freaking run. Awww fuck. Anyways, I went out with Suhailah, my baby metal, to look for a job. Ohkay don't laugh. Serious, we need money. Haha. Why? To satisfy our wants more than needs. Anyway, so as both of use is there, Ayie(my cousin) and Zachhh met us at TM. Had our meal MAC and craps. Yadayada. Gosh, I feel so kekek to like crap in front of Ayie and his friend but oh well, I still laughed like shiat. Let's describe Zach.

HE IS SO FUCKING TALL. Like.. 179 cm?! Oh my gosh. Serious la. Then Ayie was like my height like that. Anyways, I heard them talking about Suhailah, saying whether she's pretty or smth. Wtf .. If they insulf my baby metal, I will bash them up. Hahha. Ok. So I was suppose to meet Amir to watch movie but I dont wann rummours to spread and stuff like that. So i cancelled it, suppose to follow Taufiq to his BBQ, but i'm kekek with his friends and all. Im like the youngest can't you see? But it's alright. I try my best to make you happy. Then suppose to meet Ayie again to watch with them movie BUT NO. Ayie bastard me and then all of the sudden ZACH called me to go TOWN. -.-" I was like. WHATTTT?! I so can't go to town with what I'm wearing; plain black tee, slippers, jeans (TM is near my hse so it's worth it). So I went back and bought home medicines. Hehhs. Let's overdose! Whhhheeehaaa~!

Went home, made this skin and yeah.. I think I still have more to add on. I'm getting sick of navigations again. But yeahh.. I'm back to my old style. The frame type. Gosh.. I'm so sad man.

Arghh Taufiq, Furthur seems forever. =/ takecare.

What a day!

2006-05-28T11:03:00.000+08:00

Let's start from Friday(:
Alright firstly, school was nothing but fun. Mainly because the 3 bitches-cum-flirts cam-whored with their psychic Nadyne. Hehhs. We had Use Your Hand Campaign which involves cleaning up your classroom. Phew, super tiring I must say. Urms ok. So the 4 maschetuers cleaned the windows with Hani and Farah. So far, I only cleaned 3 window panes and I started panting. HAHA. Tasha and I threw wet newspapers at each other and she chased me!! TASHA-bitch chased FATIN-flirt. Haha. Kekek sey we all run. Then we cam-whored and cam-whored. And what else? We got our report books back. I deproved alot. whthefuck. Anyway, I'm sure you guys are waiting for these. The PIKCHAS. So here's the pictures.

saiful & Me! @ malay class.

Fatin & Rizal. My best brother angkat.
Tak yahh malu malu la Zal..

Then we had 1 hr recess. Gerek sey. But all we did was to cam-whore. Biaser uh kiterang. Bawak camera so tkkn nak buat kenangan jek? Hehhs. Cam-whored at the toilets. (^.^)

Fatin?! The look of my tired face and me meaningless smiles.Tasha-bitch, Suhailah-slut, Nadyne, Fatin-flirt.

Going for recess.

Back from recess.
Tasha-bitch & Fatin-flirt.
The bitch says we are like siblings.
ohh thnkyou. MEMANG. 24 hrs kater kn.

the bitch and flirt again.

fatin-flirt, suhailah-slut and Nadyne

Fatin's the clown.
Clown to Badut. Badut to clown(:

Told suhailah to take this. Spot Sutra. Hehhs.

tired from all that cleaning. PHEW!

Hehhs, then after school, went to follow Nayne meet her one and only Haszwan. I was so tired trying to layan him and there's this pic which shows my tired face. And guess what. Here it is.

Anyways, Hazwan worte a testimo for me saying that I'm GILER with all caps on. Haha. Because I laughed with Suhailah in front of him until i could colapse and roll on the floor. Obviously I did not. And so we went to the toilet. Then we had conference. HAHA. Klakar abes. What more is.. He called me a flirt or flirty. Mesti la. Kater Fatin-flirt. Ishkk. So then I went home. Went online and before I went to sleep, I chat with ZACCCCCH.

So now's my name is ZACHARY. Why? Because I adopt his name. It is so cool la. His full name is Zachary Shah. Cool giler la. Then irritate him and blabla, we did poetry and yadayada. Ofcourse uh, emo people do poetries ohk. Alright I forgot what he wrote to me but this is what i wrote for him before I went to sleep.

I'l be the angel of your nightmare,
and will be there if your lungs still let you breathe.

Haha.. and guess what he said. "Gosh that's deep." and abt the angel part.. he said "Sure, just dont scare me, I bite" klakar sey... Then I started to crap which really irritated him .. hehhe..

And yes, I chat with Zairi too. Hey.. I did not start the convo ok. They started it. So not my fault. I just layan them.. Urms.. So here's adapted from the convo. I saved it taus... Hehhs. anyway tkper. terlalu censored la.

Had SRC carnival. Turned dark and had sunborun on my nose.

Sorry la taufiq. For whtever I did. And Hani, you misunderstood my intentions. So now, i just dont know what to do. Im in a mess. Again.

Just updating..

2006-05-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

Since i'm having fun playing pool with my deary Taufiq, I shall post just an itsy bit of today. I followed Naddy to go look for Hazwan. He wasn't happy so I tried to "pujok" him since I'm the cause of his unhappiness. Abit kekek uh. Nadya tak layan Haazwan. So, I pity Hazwan who just tagged along and i really hate that. So i talked to him. He is still unhappy. Then after that, when Hazwan fetching Naddy home, he happy ler. Ok. Then what? I'm pissed off for getting a prank call from taufiq's fren ok. Im really fucking pissed off till now. What really making it worst is that tmr got SRC carnival. Match uh. What else. Asshole. I just hope it ends fast. I wanna go home and rest la. Then what June holidays' training. Im gone. Poof. I don't think I will come. I seriously do not intend to join netball in the first place. just because my cousins are in it and you know my cousing doesn't mean i love netball. well i do. but not as much in trainings. haish. i just wanna quit. with this lame knee im having as an excuse. pffftt. and all that family problems of what? my dad. calling me like every hour asking where i am. and.. what.. im in schoo land hating it. argghh! i cant take it. i bared this pain for almost 2 years la ok. im a quitter so what. nevermind. i dont deserve it anyway. so let me quit then. ishhhhk. shall post tmr.

IM IN A MESSSS.

TOTAL MESS.

URGHHHH!

Sorry Suhale

2006-05-25T16:38:00.000+08:00

Im just so sorry Suhailah. Maybe I did not really give you the right information. But today I'm sick and my knee hurts. You might think this is an excuse but, no it's not. It's ok if you don't believe me. Hrmms. Just that I'm so sorry.

Taufiq called. Yay, haha. First time. Hmmm.. Today just felt guilty la. Did not went to school so nothing happened. And yeah, I finally did Irda's skin. Just that codings not really done yet. Oh well. Life obstacles. Stupid thing.

I'm depressed,

In a mess,

everything else.

2nd post of the day

2006-05-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

-.-" I called him in the end. And like what? He kept laguhing because my laugh is funny? He says it's cute? Hahha. Cute w/o the "e", cut. Lols. Okay mrepek. Saiful says that whenever it comes to Fatin, it is always mrepek. Kurang ajar sey. I mean that's really insulting you know. Mrepek but fun kn? Hahah.. And here I am again, memuji diri sendiri. Okay, I'm suppose to do my project now. Fine I will. I just hate last minute works. Okay fine my fault. But try to understand la eh? That thing is like sucking time from my life. So everything seemed to delay. Shucks. Anyway, shall love whom i love. And he said where's my Zairi kesayanganmu? Sedih sey, then what he thinks I cheap. No he said cheapsale. Alehhh.. Cakap uh lagik. Later I really go how? How?!? hehhs. Gosh.. Stupid school. Bet I'm gonna sleep my whole day there. Sheeeeshh. WITHOUT Suhailah. I so miss her in class. Miss her flirty story. Hehhs. Poor thing she went to Maths Olympiad Training. Pandai sey.. Hahah.. Jiayou? lols. I MISS SUHAILAH!

Where'd You Go? I Miss You So..

2006-05-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

I'm staring into space,
What a lonely face,
I'm trying to find a place,
In you.
Today school, sucks like suck suck la. It's just another boring school day. Had recess with Hani. Hrmms. Am I giving chances again? Am I being too nice? I'm not sure. Haish. I'm so confuse. What am I trying to do? Nevermind. Atleast I doing a good deed. Anyway she sat on birdshit. Gosh. Hahha. Kehsian. Hrms.. Then had PW. Gosh. Got to finish by today. Fine staying up late. Last minute freaking work. Just finishing the contents. Hrmms.. Ronin came to school. Heard from Amir that 3-dash-1 also came. But I didn't saw. Hrms. Had netball training. Gosh my knees are getting worst. I guess I can't run like I used to. And I can race with people. And I can't jump! Sadenning. My favourite thing to do. JUMP! ); sedih uh Fatin. Nadya laughed when the lead singer was doing screamo. Gosh. She's bad. She's insulting my kind of music. In fact my favourite. I terase la ofcourse. And Nadya kept using my "Takder paper pakai tissue" That is so fcuking mine okay. Where's your originality? Then Haszwan thinks I copy you! Stop it la Nad. Sedih tau klau orang dituduh membuat sesuatu yang tidak bersalah. Chehh my malay. High class sey. Hehhs. So here's the pic.

Oh well, his face his white so as his hair. So his face camouflaged. HAHA.
& click HERE for more.

Alright, I was browsing through my pictures and I caught my eyes on this.
Click HERE to view the pic.

Let's talk about Tasha, she touched her bag's *toootsies*. So jahat ehh.. lols. Oh it was taken at City Hall. Then got this slenger. A chinese national scolding her husband? Oh my gosh. Her voice like cacat and it seems like as if she has difficulty in talking. Because the way she talks was like as if air got stucked in her throat. Hahha. Enjoy the pic(: Plus no offence people. Hehhs.

TAUFIQ!?! Kemane you pergi? I miss you la. Sedih uh ); I missed you like crazy. Hahah.. The song Tasha loves to sing. Gosh. Serious uh.. Where are you?!?!?!

No kiss but there's makeup.

2006-05-23T17:44:00.000+08:00

Today was late for school. I mean no really late la. Urms, I woke up late. I woke up at 6:50am but I'm suppose to wake up at 6:20am. At first there was a little fight between my and my dad. Ishk. Seriously uh. My dad will NEVER understand anything at all. So here's what we fought about. I was sleeping peacefully with the air-con elatedly blowing at my face, it feels as if Singapore's snowing. Wahh.. Bes bes. Hehhs. Urms then my father barge in and started scolding, "Ehh Nurul! Pergi skola he tak nie?! Sedap jer eh tidur.. Tak bangun-bangun uh?!" Then I replied uh, "My alarm did not went off, spoil agaknyer." Then he scold me back sey.. He said what for use alarm? Can't you wake yourself up?! I was so.. URGHHH! at him sey. Alarms are used to wake people up. Duh.. Then I said I cant wake myself up. So he said that's your life la. I was wtf. I can't believe he's jumping to conclusions. Like fuck man.. In my life, I used alarms to wake me up in the morning. That also my dad doesn't know. I mean, I've been staying with him for 14 years and almost 6 months yet he doesn't know that I use alarms all along. -.-" Whatever it is, he is my father and I love him. But I just hate it when he NEVER will understand me.

Was changing into my uniform when Farhah went to my house and knocked the door. So in the end I went to school alone. My face macam slumber sehh.. Baru bangun tidur gitu. And my hair all wet(baru mandi kan..) Went up then I saw Sushil. When i was walking to class, Sushil was behind me and was doing that cheeky kissing sound at me. Ishk.. Sorry uh eh. Super yucks. Went into class. Boring boring. No HAMMY! a.k.a TashaPYSCHO. hahha.. boring abes la.. Sat with Farah and we were talking about whose father name is funny. Like I told her that Taufiq's full name was Mohammad Taufiq bin Mohammad. Then both of us laughed. Then Farah said Abeh Abu Bakar? Then we started laughing like mad. I told her that my ustad name was Abu Bakar and he was gelap. HAHAH!! Then we talked about her relationship probs. About emoboys and stuff. She said Taufiq cute? Jangan kembang ehh Taugeh.

After recess got Science and wastold to do this holiday homework. End up not doing. Hehhs. Was happily talking to Farah. Then got assembly. Talentime. Just can't wait. But it all turned out disappointing. I am DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED. The sound system just suck. And all the bands played terriblyyy. Serious uh. Not perfect but that's ok. But it's not even close to ok. The 3 guys dancing like girls was the only part I was atleast ok about the whole thing. Then there was power 98 Red Hot Radio. BORING. lols. Hmms.. tmr Ronin's coming to Damai Sec. Woohoo. A Singapore band and I heard there are quite good. So let's see.

After school and stuff, went to meet Tasha. Nadya supposed to meet her Hazwan but ended up not meeting because she's going to Johor. So I went TM to buy concealer and eyeliner. Urms gosh.. I spent $80 bucks in just 3 days. ARGHH!?! Great. Just greeatt. Firtsly Hazwan bastard abes. I said ehh.. you hazwan kn? then he said no. So the malu. Then He called ehh tu aku la. -.-" bastard seyy. Then I stalked Hazwan to blanjer me. Then he only gave me $2.40 -.-" Alahh.. amek je la. He forgot to bring his ATM card. Klau ader boleh ketok dier abes abes. Then when walking I saw songkok boys again(: then the guy stared at me. then I was panicking so I just smiled la. Then when I look back he look back. Suhailah was making it obvious. But heck I have Taufiq. And because of Taufiq I was late for school. That's ok uh(:

Shall sleep early today. Tomorrow got freaking Netball training. After the SRC I'm quiting. Seriously la. My leg can't take it. Approach to coach. I'm afraid of him. Just because he know's my cousin (the star palyer) GEEEZ.. And oh.. Aisah, if you are reading this, tell your sis. I'm like.. the walking dead. I just hate the trainings. Serious uh. I got medical problem sey. If I tell also people don't believe. Because they knew I'm active but I'm lazy. I'm not. My knees are like dislocating uh seyy. Life just suck. Especially it all comes to trainning. I'm beggining to hate sports. Seriously.

Are you holding my heart in yours?

Does it beats and beats only for me?

Fatin SAYANG awak.

You should have shut yout gap.

2006-05-23T05:17:00.000+08:00

Firstly I would like to say this. It wasn't my fault at all. My intentions was just to be friends. You took it really far from there. And from that, you start taking advantage of our friendship. I helped you and now you're doing this to me. I've decided to have nothing linking to you. My friends is mine and that's the way i treat them, friends. I knew you were jealous but seriously uh, i don't even know i was making you jealous. I was innocent and I found out that I did a crime. A bitchy crime. Yes, I'm a bitch, a flirt. Yes I am. But I'm loyal. I'm loyal to my bestfriends so I'm loyal to you. But as for now, I guess we are not bestfriends or even friends. You took advantage of my friendship and started insulting me. So I guess we are just STRANGERS who knew each other. Dont try to look for those who told me the TRUTH. You don't have to because I found it out myself. All by myself. Sorry for what happened. Oh, wait. Why am I saying sorry? I don't apologise to advantage-takers who took advantage of me more than once. Hrmms, no chances for you anymore. Too bad.

Later got training. $!#%@! I thinkI'm quitting or maybe I'm gonna change school with Suhailah to Pasir Ris Cres. Though their uniform fucking sucks. I like the school. Plus the netball is almost as good. Hehhs. Or should I not join netball when I'm in Pasir Ris Cres? Let's see. I hope I really can go there with Suhailah.. Saper nak join? Mari mari, call saya. Hehhs. Will blog more when I return home. Will BITCH and will STICH her mouth up. GOODBYE old friend. Hello stranger.

The 2nd POST of the DAY

2006-05-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

Taufiq or Taugeh wants me to blog this post. Alright fine, I shall blog for my sayang. So training was not bad uh. Only both of my knees freaking hurts. Knee injury or "that thing" that Farhah and Syaz knew about. I think Suhailah and Nadya knows too. Anyway I had a couple of shots before I go. Wahh I like. Hehhs. Anyways Fariza just can't stop her craps la. She just can't stop smaking my ass. She smacked my ass TWICE today. Act mrajok la tu. Haha went home with Farhah. Farhah and her jokes. What is the sexiest animal of all? Zebra. Wanna know why? Hehhs. Ask me. It started to rain and the whole block was all dark. I was really really scared to walk sey. No lights. Hahha.. And then sommore got mamak contractors. Who kept staring at me.

Zairi asked me smth today. Haha. Wahh.. total ***** man. Then he said I mengatal. -.-" Saper mengatal dulu ehh? Haha.. And and.. Hairudin fractured his wrist. Poor thing. Tak bleh belikn orang sweets lagik. POST EXAM activity was the most freakiest day I will never ever gonna go to school. It is like killing me non-the-stop. Hehhs. Oh well. She cried. I was hoping she was okay. But.. I'm not gonna have anything linked to her anymore. Sorraye.

Did I mention?! I watched OVER THE HEDGE. I so love HAMMY. He is so crazy like me. Or Tasha? Ye la.. Tasha won the perang just now. But STILL I LOVE HAMMY. hahaha.. I bought clothes well only one and a small bag. Total: $42 bucks. Fuck?! Oops. Sorry I mean. I spent just like that?! Goshhhh..

Wanna watch X-men3 with Taugeh.. But.. Alahhh.. dont want uh. So many people. Like school trip gitu. Tak romantic la. Hmms.. and oh.. Shall watch the NUN. scary sey the trailer. nak bawak bantal busuk skali. HAHHA. Takder la. Gosh I'm blogging without wearing a tee. Censored. Sorry ehh.. TAUFIQ shall call me at 10pm right?!? Hehhs. Hello taugeh. Miss you.

I bitch, I flirt, but I'm loyal.

Messed up.

2006-05-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

I really, really messed up with Cutenews. Wordpress? I'm not familiar with it. But shall try. I guess not for now. So, i think this is just temporary. Until i got my subdomain up. I haven't eaten since morning. Seriously. I'm just so freaking hungry. I skipped lunch and all just to get my domain up. I'm thinking of closing down. As in closing emogirl.babii-doll.org down. Then i'm back to using kissmeim-contagious.blogspot.com and x-heroine.blogspot .com and.. x-tacy.blogspot.com hehhs. i have 3 blogs. Greedy me. I guess because i love the names and i'm reserving it. lols.
Called taufiq. His voice like hafiz? that's what suhail says. oh well. He is someone who doesn't like to smile. gosh. he is a tough one. he's 16 and i keep thinking he's 14. HAHA. sorry no offence.
AND. he wants me to call him instead HE himself to call me. PFFFT. Oh well, did i really get what I wanted? I'm not sure. or am I greedy?

hehhs. today, suhailah said I flirted with the old ice-cream man. HAHAH!. I asked him to wipe my hands since it's wet. Because there's water. and i have no free hands to clean it up. so theice-cream man helped me wipe. Zairi should jog with me. I bet it's gonna be total fun.

Taufiq should watch with me The Nun and The Xmen3. hehhs. With his friends? I don't mind. But he must layan me ofcourse. I'm someone who needs alot and i mean ALOT of attention.
If not. I will ave no mood at all. =X hahahhs. Alright temporary blog. wahhhahs. ggreat.

I love you. I really do. Am I suppose to? Can I? Should I? Why?